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Anxiety over uni results

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Joe2001, Aug 3, 2020.

  1. Joe2001

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    Hi all, had to do a couple of resits today for uni.

    Problem is that I'm now a hot mess emotionally. Whilst I don't think I've done badly by any means, I just don't know for sure about how I've done and I'm having really strong anxiety over it. If they don't go well, I'm stuffed. I genuinely think I could go to a very dark place if they went badly, I'd rather be dead than admit to people that I've failed something so important.

    I don't think I've ever been allowed to fail in life, especially coming from a pressure cooker environment in a private school were the emphasis was solely on getting A's in everything.

    Since I went to uni, I've developed really strong anxiety and it has flared up every time I have an assignment or test to do. It's way worse than at school, perhaps because I earned a place there, who knows? All I know that it's becoming a real issue.

    How can I cope?
     
    #1 Joe2001, Aug 3, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! If you can, try to sit down somewhere, where you feel comfortable and can focus your attention inward. Close your eyes and breath in and out slowly. Try to concentrate on your breathing as much as you can.

    You have likely done better than you are giving yourself credit for. You have prepared, studied and given it your best. All of this counts. As hard as it is, try not to worry about failing - in some respects it could become a self fulfilling prophecy. Keep in mind that failing, making mistakes, is where the learning happens. People will fail at least a couple of, if not a few times in their lives and their success thereafter is because of the failure.

    It is totally fine to admit that you have failed. The moment you do this, and as hard as this is because their is shame attached to it, the easier it will be for you to take on other challenges without being afraid of failure. Not hiding from failure, your body, mind doesn't have something to grab onto to produce anxiety and fear.
     
  3. Monraffe

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    When I feel anxiety start to overtake me, I try and center myself mentally by taking a step back and asking myself how much of all this is even real.

    High risks bring great reward and there is nothing more existential than trying your best at something. But if it gets too big, when you overvalue success in one thing too much, it can turn into a trap where you simply cannot see yourself existing at all after failing. And when that potential for failure starts to feel like a real possibility, it’s like you are falling into an abyss.

    These are the games we play. It means so much to succeed - and that’s a good thing. Because if you didn’t have that drive, that existential drive to succeed, you wouldn’t strive to find out just how good you can be. But in reality it is just a game and the outcome, good or bad, doesn’t really define the real you. The real you goes on regardless if you fail or succeed.

    So... keep it together and and keep pushing forward with this as hard as you can. You WILL make it one day. And maybe this is the day or maybe it will come another day in a way you didn’t expect. Either way, trust that when you look back on what you did with your life you will realize that in the end the cost of trying was its own reward.
     
  4. LaraB

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    Does your Uni have a counselling programme you can use?

    I had a very successful academic record until a few personal issues meant I failed and dropped out of uni. It was a long time ago now but has ended up being the best thing. I have a very well-paid job in a career I love that I wouldn’t have done if I’d carried on. I also went back to uni as an adult and enjoyed it so much more.

    I know when you’re doing exams at school and university it’s feels like it’s going to have this profound effect on your life but there are lots of different paths an they’re not necessarily bad ones.

    You’ve probably done much better than you think anyway, and I promise it’s not the end of the world if you have.