Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another?

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

My feelings towards girls are more intense, my feelings for men more common. I don't even know what I prefer.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

Yes, it's a scale. Do some googling about the Kinsey scale.

Personally, I mostly prefer the same gender as I am then (I'm genderfluid), which is a large part of the reason why I've been avoiding a relationship. Though that's only like 85% of the time.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I'd say it's normal to have greater attraction to one gender over another.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I'd say "wide open" Kinsey threes who are attracted more-or-less equally to both genders are rare. If they had to (gun to the head scenario), I feel most bi folks could pick one gender, and live with it okay.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I can't answer this. Thus, me being here and saying something is completely useless, I'm sorry. But, I think some bi people go through phases, maybe? My gf's sis is bi and sometimes she prefers men a little and other times she prefers women.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

It changes. The cycle is a bitch. I've been in a committed heterosexual relationship for the last four years. I plan on marrying this woman. Does that mean I prefer women? No. It just means I prefer my S/O.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I'm about 60/40 in favor of women.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

If you asked me when I was in my teens, I could honestly say I preferred women 100%. Over the years, especially in the last five, my preferences have become less distinct. I still am more attracted to women emotionally, but most of my fantasies now involve men. Very hard to reconcile.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I'm attracted to aspects of masculinity and femininity, but it's not an even balance by any means. My attraction to men and masculine-leaning genders is really only physical. The idea of taking an attractive guy and making him my plaything is... nice. But I don't generally find that many guys I'm attracted to in that way in real life, and I don't bond well emotionally to masculine folk at all. A lot of bad experiences and stuff.

My attraction to women and femme-leaning genders are much stronger, and I can attach in a heartbeat. It doesn't take much. But at the same time, the type of women I'm drawn to are more independent, more likely to take charge, more likely to, well... take on predominantly male social roles.

I present as male, mostly by default. I want to femme more, but I'm not confident about it. I'm not even sure how I would and not feel I look silly. Really, the only way I have to express my gender identity as I see it is symbolically, through online avatars, wearing certain colors, or really by displaying a love of female superheroes fairly prominently. I don't have a very femme body type, and I live in an area in the world where more blatant cross-dressing could lead to some very real and serious harassment that I'm just not ready to deal with. So... I pass. And my dating experience, I think, suffers for it. The men I meet are just... not going to happen. Like, even just for sex, the guys I meet, even if they ever were up for it... never going to happen. I'm just not attracted to most men I actually meet. Meanwhile, all the women I know are either totally straight or totally gay. They either want a MAN or I'd never be female enough because, well... DMAB. I can be all the non-binary in the world, doesn't mean the cute lesbian I met through Facebook via her school's Gay-Straight alliance is ever going to give you the time of day. Plus, she has a girlfriend.

Dating straight women is kind of hard for someone who only looks male by default. Sure, they like the idea that you're "sensitive" and that you have more in common than most guys they'd date, but it's like, they know. They know I'm not like guys they'd normally date, and it's a turn off. They don't want to be with someone non-binary, who may want things sexually that they don't. Or maybe isn't so much a MAN in that department, all concerned about ramming things in places. But then, like, it's weird to say that I make love like a woman, or that I'd probably be a "bottom" if things ever got that far. But they never get that far. I've had sex with exactly one person, and that woman wanted some dude that was all manly man man MAN. She humored some stuff, but she was so not into it that it ended up feeling wrong and hurting. Like, sex with her made me not want to have sex with her, like, ever again. And it's kind of hard to figure out what you're actually good at when someone is constantly complaining about how they want it without giving half a damn about you.

So, it's weird. What I want from a man is different from what I'd want in a woman, and honestly, I'd think I'd be better off with someone outside the binary entirely. Someone who's a bit of both or neither.

The point being, being bi isn't split down the middle equally for everyone. And sometimes, the preference isn't so much sexual as it is romantic. There's a difference between someone you just want to sleep with and someone you want to build a life with. And hell, maybe I'll defy my own expectations and meet the right guy who I want to build a life with. Or maybe not. Maybe my match is both, or neither.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I'm in a weird spot where I'm physically attracted to men, however I've had nothing but negative relationships with men my whole life, while all my friends and support group have been women. As a result I develop meaningful relationships with women, and have even dated and fallen in love with them, but have never experienced any physical attraction to a woman.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

Hi, being Bi is not, necessarily a 50/50 deal. for some is might be as much as 99/01 one way or the other. for me it's fluid and sometimes i feel very attracted to women and other times im highly attracted to men, and sometimes im attacted to both. i dont mean to keep it binary so to speak because if a person identifed as female, for example but was DMAB i could still be attraced to that person.

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

Some bisexuals have a preference for one gender, while others don't. It's also something that shifts in some. I just don't like the idea of separating all bisexuals into two camps, because it's basically repeating the age old stereotype that all are either "really gay or straight".

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

Hi! I guess it is very different for person to person. I am not completely sure where I stand, but I am curious to find out. Btw, I saw you live in London. What is England like to live in? I am thinking about working there for a while in the future...

 

Re: Another question - do bi people secretly( or openly) prefer one gender to another

I'm just here cos there are a lot of other British people.....................................................................................................

---------- Post added 6th Jan 2016 at 01:48 PM ----------

London is the place to be! (!)