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Another dull drum period is over. And what do you do to snap out of dull drums?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Aug 6, 2020.

  1. brainwashed

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    This latest dull drum period lasted ~1.5 weeks. During the period I felt despair, confusion, lack of energy. Don't know what causes these periods to set in but I really do not like them. I'm very unproductive and unhappy during this time.

    I cannot be certain but I think the following three things helped me snap out of it 1) lots of rest, 2) exercise, 3) talking to someone about my "gay" situation.

    Anyone else get periods of despair and un-productivity? If so what do you do to snap out of them?
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    Brainwashed, I have phrased these periods as “shame storms” given the description you provided. As I worked through the shame, I found that these storms decreased in time and intensity. When they would occur I would not try to fight it. Instead, like you, I would look to get lots of rest, meditate, and keep my activity levels low. During them I also limited my interaction with others. I would let the shame overwhelm me and allow it to take its proper course recognizing the emotions for what they are/were. I have not eliminated them, but they infrequently occur and are of very short duration at this point of my journey.
     
  3. KeLeWi

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    I find it very easy to sink into temporary periods of depression, especially during this pandemic. Normally, I would either take frequent walks or go volunteer at a local program that provides food and clothing for the homeless. I've discovered that taking the focus off of me and my issues helps me put things into perspective.

    If you haven't already, I would also suggest therapy. My therapist has helped me with so many of the issues that caused me to doubt myself, feel shame, etc.
     
  4. Journey616

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    For me if I talk about my “gay/bi” situation on here or with my wife. I definitely feel energized by it.

    Here is how I see it in my mind. pretend you’re in a lake or pool and you have a beach ball. Now in our situation where we hide our gay side, we push that ball under the water. So no one sees it. But no matter what it’s gonna rise up to the surface at some point. The more emotions we push down the bigger that ball is and it takes a lot of energy to hold that ball under the water. With EC and people we are out to. It allows us to let that ball to surface. We’re not using all that energy to push it down constantly. Having those outlets to release our emotions starts to relieve the despair and depression because we find others who are dealing with those emotions too and and makes us go, ahhh I’m not alone. So imagine if you didn’t have to push that ball down. Energy can be diverted to other things, perhaps good things that bring us joy. If you can do that then the depression might start to fade. I have also found that being grateful for my sexuality helps to fade some of that turmoil that brings me down when I get caught up pushing the ball down. I’ve been on EC for like a week and it has helped big time. Giving me an outlet to let that ball up.
     
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  5. Journey616

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    But if you have the means, seeing profession al therapist is a great idea. Like KeLeWi said