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Annoying heteronormative or binary things people say or do...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by searchin, Dec 16, 2018.

  1. searchin

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    sorry for the long title but something that I’ve always thought of is how annoyed I get with things like gender reveals and people making assumptions about orientation just meeting someone. Example: oh your son must be a ladies man
     
  2. Lari

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    Going to the doctor is always fun.

    doctor: "are you sexually active?"
    me: "yes"
    doctor: "do you think you might be pregnant"
    me: "no"
    doctor: "but you said you are sexually active"
    me: "yeah, I am"
    doctor: "so there is a chance you might be pregnant!"
     
  3. searchin

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    Omg (facepalm)
     
  4. LaneyM

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    Yeah I hate when they do that stuff with kids, like the "ladies man" comment, or "good girls do this/boys do that." Just let kids be kids, dress how they like and play with whatever toys they like, don't tell them who they're going to fall in love with/marry when they grow up.
     
  5. Loves books

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    I hate that too, having to explain to an x ray tech that I am 100% sure I’m not pregnant even after he asked me 100 times. I had to have that conversation with my GP too I came out to him just to stop the questions. My dad repeatedly tells me that I’ll never find a boyfriend if I don’t get out more. I’m fine with that.
     
  6. Reviskova

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    Pointing out small things about transgender peoples lives.

    I am transgender myself, and one thing i got when coming out from my family is "but you wore a dress that one time!" "but you paint your nails sometimes!" "but you never seemed like a boy!" "all your friends are/were girls!" "you did this (slightly feminine thing) wouldnt you not want to do that if you were a boy?!?"

    Another thing is the reaction to messing up pronouns. "she... oops i mean he. or it, they, whatever" i dont get upset when people mess up as long as they dont mean it, but saying something like that i find is rude and unnecessary. A huge pet peeve of mine is actually being called they, i am not a they or an it, i am a he. one of my family members does this and it bothers me to no end.
     
  7. LaneyM

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    As if you had much of a choice in dress/friends/activities as a young impressionable child. I'm not transgender but I expect this would be the reaction if I came out as queer to my family. I had dresses and Disney princess phases, but I also wore boys clothes, cut my hair short, and made a point of calling everyone "dude" for a time. Lol. What you did as a kid doesn't change who you are or what you were feeling, then or now.

    I never got the hang up people have with pronouns. It's a simple change from one word to another. If you could change one word, and in so doing reinforce another person's brave decision to buck societal norms in favor of who they really are, why the heck wouldn't you? My husband thinks it's hilarious to call Caitlyn Jenner a HE with lots of emphasis. I don't have much respect for her as a person but I genuinely don't have a problem referring to her by her proper identity.

    Also, love your quote and profile pic. Peep's music has gotten me through some very long and dark nights.
     
  8. Mihael

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    I think that no matter how much I dislike someone, disrespecting someone's pronouns especially if they transitioned (like Catlyn Jenner) and don't "exist in the middle" is a low blow in my opinion. You just don't do that. It's like calling each other names, seems quite childish to me.

    Anyway... What is annoying? "When you will have a husband..." and "Do you have a boyfriend?"
    Luckily, my doctor just asks if I'm pregnant and doesn't continue the topic.
    Also "But you are a girl" is annoying. Thank you, Captain Obvious...
     
  9. Reviskova

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    I have never, ever, gotten why people find it so difficult with pronouns either. as you said, its one word to another. its not like its asking much. sometimes i feel like they are honestly trying to make a mock of me.

    as for the last part, thank you! i can definitely relate to what you said. nice to see other peep fans. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Lari

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    Using the correct pronouns is really as simple as "hi, my name is Cameron, but you can call me Cam". There is no excuse to not call people the way they prefer to be called. My mind just can't process how rude people can be.

    What also really gets under my skin is when i'll point out a joke or something someone said that was homophobic or made me feel uncomfortable, how straight people will try to justify it and explain to me why they think my feelings on the matter aren't valid. It's infuriating.
     
    #10 Lari, Dec 18, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
  11. Reviskova

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    i get that last part too. my mom is definitely nice and accepting, but has a sense of humor that sometimes involves some genuinely offensive things. (ex. one time she said "i thought all transgenders were weird until you became one" as a 'joke') i feel like she has changed and learned since when she used to do it a lot, but, i really dont understand why people try to justify those jokes to the people who are being made fun of.
    and people often use the excuse of it being a joke to be homophobic, transphobic, ___phobic etc. it is not always just a joke.

    after they always pull the "you are too sensitive" card. as if lets say, they were openly insulted and made uncomfortable they wouldnt react.

     
  12. DreamyDoll

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    I've always hated when people say 'he or she' when they don't know the gender, why can't it just be 'they'?
    for example;
    Person A: Wow, this dessert is amazing! The chef did an excellent job.
    Person B: I agree, he or she is very talented.

    Compared to,
    Person A: Wow, this dessert is amazing! The chef did an excellent job.
    Person B: I agree, they are very talented.

    It's always been a pet peeve of mine, imo it's better English and more inclusive to use the second conversation.
     
  13. luna4919

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    OMG Me too! I hate that so much. It sounds better and is more inclusive totally! I also hate when you see a person and someone has to get closer to "see if they are a boy or a girl". Like if someone is in a car or has something interesting on my friend will always insist on getting closer to see them. I am always saying "why does it matter or how about neither".
     
  14. Fishtail

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    Guy from school, 19 y.: "Why do you have long hair, time for a haircut?"
    At that time my hair was just a bit longer than to the lowest end of my ears... (¬,¬)
    I found his comment paradoxical since he have worn a pink colour shirt sometimes.

    A young female teacher: "Can you figure out computers? This one don't work."
    Me, 20 y.: "No I only know what stuff to avoid so they last longer."
    She: "But you are a guy."
    (@[email protected]) I was very surprised that this young adult in the 2000 century
    still had this expectation considering her other positive viewpoints on gender.
     
  15. jenne

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    "how can you know you're lesbian if you never had sex with a man?"
    "but you kissed a boy once " (10 YEARS AGO)
    "so you will be a virgin forever? "
    "it's just a phase, you're confused"
    "you will find the right man"
    and the list goes on.......
     
  16. Amanda F

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    I hate it when people assume I'm straight.
    Them: Wow, that guy is really scoping you out. You should go flirt a little."
    Me: I'm a lesbian.
    Them: What?
    Me: I'm only interested in girls.
    Them: Well... why did you transition then?
    Me (in silent rage): BECAUSE I'M A GIRL, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

    Mandy
     
  17. MsSparkles

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    Oh damn, I have a huge list.
    These are just the first few that come to mind.

    Whenever I shop for clothes: "are you aware this is the men's section?"
    Straight woman, right after giving me a compliment "... but i'm not hitting on you"
    "Hey I need a man's opinion. Maybe you can help!"
    Having my girlfriend or date confused for friend or sister... even if we been holding hands the whole time and kissing.
    Guys who clap and whistle if I kiss a woman in public.
     
  18. Disarray

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    In the rare times I've mentioned my ex to someone in passing, how they assume I'm straight by assuming my ex was a girlfriend.
     
  19. Kodo

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    Getting the, "so... you used to be a straight girl?"