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Angry at myself for denying it for so long

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by findingjoy, Dec 10, 2016.

  1. I'm gay

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    Greatwhale, I just love your posts. They always seem to resonate with me and bring clarity, so thank you!

    Findingjoy,
    This period of anger over your lost youth, over denying yourself, and over feeling so dumb that you denied it for so long. This is normal and natural after coming out later in life. I went through this period myself, as did so many others. It's a part of this journey that you must go through on your way to acceptance. Denial, anger, bargaining, grief, acceptance. We don't necessarily go through this process in a linear fashion. It's very common to think you've reached full acceptance only to experience anger all over again. It will pass.

    One other thing that has happened for me: When I suppressed my gay feelings all those years ago, I didn't realize that I also was suppressing a lot of other emotions along with it. So, after coming out, I feel like I'm so much more emotional than I used to be. I cry much easier (and over such small things sometimes!), and feel like my emotions are closer to the surface than ever before. I'm told this will calm down after a bit, so do realize that periods of anger, sadness, etc. may also be you getting back in touch with your natural emotions that you've suppressed for a long time.

    This journey is a long one, so do pace yourself, and learn to forgive yourself.

    Take care. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  2. findingjoy

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    Thanks, in a strange way it's made me more confident about acceptance, I am angry about denying my true self. At this point I feel sure enough- no longer questioning - to feel emotions like this are part of the process of shedding the old lies and masks we wore...
     
  3. looking for me

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    i read somewhere that the past is a lovely place to visit; but not somewhere to set up camp and stay.