I feel so god damned confused right now. I've spent about 4 years questioning my gender and now all of a sudden I hardly feel anything. I've been feeling refreshed after spending the holidays with my family, as well as being more active in getting my life together than I ever remember. How is it that after years of all of this anxious questioning of both current and past feelings, I don't feel anything? How is it that all of a sudden I just don't feel this way anymore? Is there a chance I'm suppressing this again? Did I really just convince myself I'm transgender?
Dysphoria comes and goes. I have to remind myself of this too. I mean its always possible its a phase, but i think if one goes that long questioning their gender identity then chances are they probably aren't cis. That's my opinion anyways.
Yea I was thinking about making a longer post about this sort of thing. During the holidays or family get-togethers I find that at this point since im not out to anyone I kinda just shut down if I spent enough time with people who don't know that im a guy. I feel like im in sort of a recovery from all the misgendering lol. It took me about two weeks after spending a long holiday with family before I could even actively think about anything related to my transition. I feel like a guy the whole time, my experience with gender is the same no matter what, but I just block it out and don't think about it too hard I guess. That might not be the same thing you're talking about but thats my experience. Give yourself time to breathe and think about other things.
