I until recently, had been strongly, almost obsessively attracted to women and thought about them 24/7. I was easily able to get aroused by them until I realized one day, that I might want to be one myself, and perhaps, was living vicariously through that obsession. Upon making that realization, I seemed to lose most of my desire for women, and for whatever reason, began enjoying looking at males more. Also, shortly after that, I began feeling odd, and a huge state of what I feel is depression ensued. As for my identity and body, I am considered attractive apparently, but never felt it, and over the years, hated hearing things like I am looking stronger, my shoulders are getting wider, hated being able to grow facial hair, being so tall etc. I also don't like looking at photos of myself, regardless of the time they were taken. These thoughts were there since puberty, although the actual thoughts of being a woman didn't begin until my early 20s. It began as something I thought was a fetish, but escalated from there over the years. For example, I used to just imagine being the most attractive of women, but over time, those thoughts led to me feeling like I would be fine with looking like any woman, even if she wasn't some 8+/10 in looks. I also did things over time, like look up effects of HRT, transition timelines, etc, and feel a degree of envy. At the core of this, I often wish I was legitimately a woman. As for this situation's relationship to my sexuality issue, I for some reason, feel fine at the idea of being a male's girlfriend or wife. I am not sure why that is, but it doesn't cause me any distress? Maybe deep down, i was wanting to be the female of the relationship all along. I at the moment cannot tell if my disdain with being a man's man is some kind of homophobia, or an unrecognized form of dysphoria. I am very confused right now. I hope somebody can provide some clarity for me or I can talk to someone who's been through something similar.