so basically i’ve been questioning if i’m a trans male for about 2 years but only decided to start acting upon it recently i’ve cut my hair started getting more masculine clothing, used male deodorant i’m scared cause i feel like if i start transitioning or come out to someone ill regret it and cause loads of trouble, i don’t know what dysphoria is supposed to feel like or what i feel is dysphoria, but i know that my female body and curves do not seem to appeal to me, whenever my chest is showing or i’m not wearing a sports bra i feel extremely uncomfortable, my high pitched voice also makes me feel uncomfortable. i recently ordered some male sports shorts online and when my mom asked me to try them on and saw that they were masculine she said that it’s not normal what i’m doing, i’m a girl, it’s wrong,i cannot change my sex and if she sees any other signs she will have to talk with me and my dad. and i don’t know what she said made me feel uncomfortable and made me silence my dysphoria in a way? if anyone has any advice or can tell me how am i supposed to feel if i’m really trans?
I think you need to do what you need to do to make you happy and not anyone else. Your parent need time to realize what is happening. I support you.
If you think you are not a girl/woman, or don't feel like you are, you could be trans. You also don't necessarily have to feel like a boy/man to be trans, there are plenty of nonbinary people who feel like neither (like me). I agree with @Jamie92203 , you need to do what will make you happy, but if your profile is correct and you are 13 years old, please also consider what will keep you in a safe situation. Your safety is always top priority, even if that means staying closeted for a while. I know that it is hard to hide who you are, but if it would not be safe for you to be more open about your gender, it may be the best option at this time. However, you could try to go for more masculine clothes, even women's clothes have a lot of more masculine looks, and if you ever order clothes online, many have a unisex option which has a much more neutral cut to it. It is much more socially acceptable for women to dress in masculine ways than vice versa, so you could dress in ways closer to how you want to without having to out yourself. I also buy "boy's" clothes sometimes, and I just say that it's because it fits better, has deeper pockets, better for moving around in for this or that activity, etc. Sometimes that is the real reason I buy these clothes, and sometimes it's because I want to look more androgynous by balancing it with feminine aspects. Maybe if you have an excuse as to why this particular item of clothing works better for you with a masculine versus a feminine style your mom might understand a bit more, and you wouldn't have to out yourself. Even though she wouldn't know that it is about gender, she would at least probably be more comfortable with you wearing masculine clothes if she thought there was another purpose for it.
In agreeing with Green, I also almost exclusively wear men's clothing. I don't particularly like my breasts either, but I don't consider myself trans. I think that decision in the end is for you in your mind and heart to make. As for the mom thing, you appear quite young. It's hard, but do try to be yourself and don't worry too much what she thinks of you. As the others have said, try to keep yourself safe as well. It's not easy to be young and at home. You can always, as hard as it is, dress the way you want outside of the house. I used to keep a change of the clothes I wanted in my backpack and change on the way to school, etc. Good luck!
This can be a tricky process. What I did, and what I still do, is think about it from different perspectives. I've always hated wearing dresses,and feel more comfortable in masculine clothing. I also started using my preferred pronouns (he/him) and they felt a lot better than she/her did. I also took a gender dysphoria quiz on a credible site. I'll paste the link below. Hope this helps. https://psymed.info/gender-dysphoria-test
I agree with "Safety First", because being a minor limits your options and unless your living situation is intolerable or puts you at risk pushing too hard or fast can have lifetime effects that you can cannot begin to foresee.. That being said puberty is often a difficult time in the best case, and if you are Trans or gender fluid it can be all the more difficult to deal with. At your age you are just beginning to really experience the full implications of gender and the hormones that drive so much more than just physical development, so taking things slow isn't a totally negative thing. My personal experience (I'm 55 btw, so there the resources available today didn't exist when I was your age... You only knew you were different or didn't fit in) is that had I been a teen in this day and age I might well have transitioned, and potentially ended up regretting it.. As even as an adult it took me a long time to to figure out that I'm in between and need to express but feminine and masculine. So my advice would be to to give the full spectrum of gender a chance as best as you can in your current situation, and give yourself time with an open mind, and as you get closer to adulthood both your path and your options will become more clear. Just remember that there isn't any time pressure unless you have known from a very young age for certain that you are in the wrong body, and even if that truly is the case, unless your parents support you transitioning it is likely that you won't be able to proceed until you are out on your own which may not be what you want to hear, but might be the only real option aside from exploring as best as you can in the meantime. One last thing.. I can only speak for myself, but as I have gotten older I've found that it all does get easier to just be me, and feel comfortable with who I am.
