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Am I non-binary/genderfluid/genderqueer?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ken867, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. ken867

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    How do I know if I'm nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer
     
  2. Hawk

    Community Facilitator Admin Team Full Member

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    What makes you think your Non-Binary, or under the Non-Binary umbrella?

    Non-Binary/Genderqueer is essentially an "in-between" between male and female if you think of gender as a spectrum. I know some people think of it as a wheel, and some people don't think of themselves to be on the spectrum at all, but for simplicity sake, where do you think you fall on the spectrum if female's on one side and male's on the other?

    Another thing to consider is expression and identity. Expression is the external (clothes, hair, or things you change outside), whereas identity is the internal, how you feel you were meant to be inside (this could be things like names or pronouns). Identity and expression don't always have to line up either (ex: masculine male or feminine female). If you prefer to express yourself more masculinely, but don't feel "male", that's fine. I think society wants people to conform to it's two boxes which doesn't always work for some people.

    How do you think you identify? If you think you identify as Non-Binary, you can always try asking friends to call you by your preferred pronouns or your preferred name. Change your expression and see how strangers view and interact with you. You can go to retail stores, malls, neighbourhoods, parks, etc to experiment with this. Do you like it? Does it make you comfortable?

    You know yourself best, and if you are questioning your identity, I think the best way to find out what fits and works best for you is experimentation. You don't have to come out to do this either if you're not ready. Like I said above, you can experiment with strangers and see how they view and interact with you, and if it makes you comfortable or uncomfortable.
     
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  3. ken867

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    Hi thanks for your reply. Sorry last night I just didn’t feel like posting about why I think or don’t last night cause every time I make a post I have to. I do experience dysphoria although it’s appears and disappears and I haven’t felt full blown dysphoria in a few months. I originally thought I was trans but I don’t think that anymore. I’m out and people use he him pronouns for me and they feel fine. The thought of getting top surgery even when I’m not necessarily feeling dysphoric interests me but sometimes I feel like I hate my boobs too much to keep them but then the thought that coincides with that one is that I love my chest too much to get rid of them.
     
  4. Mihael

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    Name is also an outside thing. Isn't it?

    I will say this yet another time: dysphoria fluctiuations are 100% normal. Sometimes, we just have to forus on something else than our gender, because e.g. money needs to be made, the house has to be cleaned, meals have to be cooked and we also have our interests that absorb us and that have nothing to do with gender or lack thereof.

    Go with the label non-binary and see how you feel about it and where it takes you. Maybe finally you will feel like expressing yourself in any way you want is okay.

    As for the chest... well, happens. Conflicting feelings about all kinds of things happen. 100% normal. Breasts have their upsides and downsides. They might make people think you're a girl, but they can also be attractive for them sexually. Not to mention that it's completely normal for cis and trans alike to feel good or bad about the way you look depending on whether you currently have good or bad mood. You can look the same and one day feel fat and the next day in good shape, or one day you might like your nose and another you might find it too big or too small or too hooked or too round or whatever. It's 100% normal. Just be conscious of this phenomenon and don't feel like there is something wrong with you. Everyone experiences it.
     
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