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Am I gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Pedro123, Sep 6, 2020.

  1. Pedro123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2020
    Messages:
    15
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    Location:
    Fortaleza
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So I basically started texting this girl a month ago and I like her so much, we've already even sexted and I used to get aroused to just simple messages of her. I mean the thought of not being able to be with her drives me fucking insane. Thing is I'm super worried bc at the start of my puberty I'd get aroused by girls in porn, I would love it and all, but after a while I got bored of that and gay thoughts started creeping into my mind to the point where I was actually masturbating thinking of men. It was never a real guy, if I tried to think of a real guy I'd get creeped out, it was generally just a hairy masculine guy I had created in my mind, I didn't like it. Once I decided to try it out it started being really arousing to me, and after a while I started feeling absolutely nothing for women on porn and that's when I started getting desperate. I've tried watching gay porn but I don't like it one bit, it's fantasies from my head that aroused me.
    I'm sorry, I know how this can sound to many gay and bi people in here, I don't wanna sound like an idiot who's prejudiced, it's just I never want to act on it ever in my life, like never ever ever. I've went to thousands of gay clubs, had thousands of gay friends that I like so much (they're always the best people imo bc they know what it's like to go through shit) and never felt the tiniest bit of thing for them, and it wasn't even that I was disgusted by it, I've always been open minded about this actually, it's just it's not something I see myself doing. I hate it bc when I was a kid it was only women that I thought of sexually and romantically, had 2 guys ask me to do sexual stuff with them already and only felt disgusted when I saw their thing, but how can it be that the fantasies were arousing me so much?
    After a while I read about nofap and the dangers of porn and how it could affect your brain's dopamine system, started taking medication for HOCD because during quarantine it was consuming me 100% every single minute of the day and tried to accept myself as gay 1000 times but didn't work. Well, for now I've been on NoFap for 78 days, trying to reboot my brain, Idk if it's because of this girl I've met or bc of NoFap itself but I've never had a fantasy like that arouse me anymore, like I don't feel a thing down there and I feel more at one with myself. Fucking thing is everytime I read a thread of some guy questioning his sexuality I read someone's posts saying that just bc you find a girl beautiful and wanna be with her doesn't mean you're straight and it freaaks me out so much and now I'm super self-conscious.
    Guys please tell me, is there any possibility that I'm gay? I'm still a virgin, but I love this girl ;(
     
  2. KeLeWi

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Albuquerque
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You might be gay. You might be bi. You might be heterosexual. Why are you freaked out about it? If you are sexually aroused by the girl you profess to love, that's awesome. See where the relationship goes. If you do end up having intercourse with her and you enjoy it, that's great! If you don't enjoy it, then it is time to explore another route. The fact is, there is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality. Eventually you will have your answer, and it will be okay. Truth be known, it may change over time. Life is short. You owe it to yourself to be open to whatever life has in store for you.
     
  3. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    958
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    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Perhaps you are putting too much emphasis on your sexuality instead of enjoying it. No one but you can determine your sexuality and at this time in your case it maybe an open question. So what, experiment and see how you feel after being with a woman. There is no time limit you need to follow. If being with a woman satisfied you that might just be your answer or you may find otherwise. Either way relax and enjoy. Our sexuality is something we should enjoy , it’s should not cause stress and anxiety. Lighten up and things will sort themselves out.