My name's Eli, I'm 17 and I'm questioning my gender identity. Normally, I feel alright in my body so that makes me question if I have dysphoria at all or if I'm just faking everything. But recently, I put on a skirt and I don't think it was me just having a bad day - I felt unbelievably uncomfortable, and I'm not sure if I just feel more feminine when I'm happy and more masculine when I'm unhappy or if I'm actually gq. But I do think I am gq, because being called "she" and "girl" makes me feel uncomfortable, I've even started asking people to call me by "they/them" (and eli is not my birth name, it was for gender reasons). I also kind of hate toxic femininity and believe it's useless. I also have a really skinny, flat body which would make it really easy to transition - currently, I don't even have to bind. I'm able bodied, half white, and have the means to transition (yeah..I'm privileged). It's just confusing because when I was younger, I was fine with identifying as a girl and wore girly things but now it's changed and a lot of ftm experiences I've read say that they usually show signs when they're younger. Also, I'm not even sure if I want to grow up as an older "man"? Moreso an older androgyne person, who fluctuates. The point is, I'm not sure if my gender identity of being genderqueer is just because I'm in a depressed state or if it's real. I think it is real because while I know gender expression and identity are separate, I think they match for me and I've felt not like a girl for a while now- like something different. I've tried demigirl/demiboy/genderfluid/agender and everything seems a bit wrong to me, so i'm not sure. What am I?