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Am I Bi or Gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by AmIBiorGay, Jan 12, 2018.

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Am I Bi or Gay?

This poll will close on Apr 25, 2018 at 12:08 AM.
  1. Bi

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Gay

    2 vote(s)
    100.0%
  1. AmIBiorGay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2018
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    CA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I am unsure whether I am best identified as bi or gay. To be honest, I am unsure whether it is even possible to answer this question. Some details: I am a woman who is primarily attracted to other females. However, I can experience attraction to biological males (not really men, as such) as long as they are very non-binary or trans. Basically, for me to be attracted to a biological male they have to be feminine enough that they might get mistaken for a woman from a distance, or if you didn't look that closely. They also can't have very obvious male physical traits like body hair, facial hair (especially not facial hair!), broad shoulders, muscular bodies etc. I feel that describing myself as bi is inaccurate since I am attracted to women and non-binary people, but not binary men, especially if they are cis. However, I feel that gay may also be an exaggeration. How should I describe myself?
     
  2. mmmelody

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2015
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York, NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    First of all, I'm going to preface this by saying that you can label yourself however you want - whatever you're comfortable with, if it sounds right to you, go for it! Even if it's an umbrella term like queer, or even if you want to use gay as an umbrella term.

    Secondly - it sounds to me that you might be attracted to multiple gender identities, but not all of them. So, in theory, you could use the term "bisexual" in its literal definition, which is "attracted to two genders." Although, you might be attracted to more than two, in which case you could use the term "polysexual," which means "attracted to multiple genders but not all.

    Another term you could use is gynesexual/gynephile, meaning "attracted to females, women, and/or femininity" (source). Of course, not everyone might understand that term when you first say it to them, but your label (or lack thereof) is your own!

    Hope this helps!
     
    Wesley007 likes this.