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Am I bi or gay or something? I don’t know.. please help.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Tylerhall9, May 22, 2018.

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  1. Tylerhall9

    Tylerhall9
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    I have been trolling the internet for the past few months trying to figure out what my sexuality really is but to no avail. What it boils down to is that I truly don’t know what I am but I know that after hearing how I feel maybe someone will. So here goes. For the past few years I have called myself bi and pan, and recently have begun questioning whether or not this is completely true. So low down is as such, I mainly only watch gay porn and gay stuff, I do fantasize about guys and gay stuff, I also am somewhat submissive when it comes to that stuff and I have mainly had sex with guys. However (this is where it gets tricky), I am not romantically that interested at all with guys and frankly could only see myself having a “friends-with-benefits” type relationship with a guy at most. On the female side of things, I on rare occasion fantasize about women, I think they are beautiful and I do get hard if I think hard about having sex with a woman, I get off to lesbian and straight porn, and I would say that if a woman offered me sex I would probably jump on the offer. However I never seek out straight or lesbian porn and mainly stick to gay porn and gay stuff, only occasionally looking at lesbian or straight stuff. Here’s the real kicker too, unlike with guys, I could easily go into a dating relationship and be very romantic with them, but sexually I feel a bit less inclined towards them. I used only watch straight porn and get off to it, but now only gay porn is what I seek out and gay sex, I have never really seemed out straight sex before. So I don’t know if I am gay or bi or what but I need some help. If anyone knows what’s going on please help.
     
    #1 Tylerhall9, May 22, 2018
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    No one but you can figure this out, ultimately, because no one but you is in your head.

    That said, at first glance, given what you've said, one could conclude that you're bisexual. However, the "I'm not romantically that interested in guys, but I like having sex with them" is very frequently a byproduct of someone who is just coming to terms with being gay, and trying to accept himself. There's no credible data anywhere that supports the idea of a separation between romantic and sexual orientation, and in general, the only people who promote this (research- and fact-free) concept are generally either people who support a whole bunch of other labels for which there's absolutely no scientific, research, or wide-professional-acceptance basis.

    So very often what you see is people initially say these things, but as they become more comfortable with themselves, they find that they are more comfortable with same-sex relationships in total (physically, emotionally, romantically, whatever else.)

    This being the case, I'd make a hesitant guess, without much more than just what you've said to go on, that you're more likely at the gay end of the spectrum. But the truth is, it will likely take you some time to figure out, and perhaps the best thing is to not worry too much about the label, and maybe open your mind to the idea that you could enjoy a full, emotionally and physically intimate connection with a guy. My guess is if you find the right one, it will happen pretty easily.
     
    #2 Chip, May 22, 2018
  3. Biguyjosh

    Biguyjosh
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    To me I'd say you're bi with leaning more towards the gay side, similar to me. I don't necessarily think you need to be romantically involved or want that kind of relationship. You could still be trying to figure it out so don't worry too much about finding the right label now.
     
    #3 Biguyjosh, May 22, 2018
  4. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    You sound bi. Physically you like guys more it seems but that's pretty normal, a lot of bisexual are not fifty fifty and have some kind of preference. I disagree with Chip though there is no divide between sexual and romantic. I think you can be into one more than another, and you can have differing levels of desired intimacy with either gender.
     
    #4 Love4Ever, May 23, 2018
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