I’m depressed. I’m paranoid. I have severe gender dysphoria. I self-harm regularly. Nobody knows. I hate how good I am at keeping my mental health hidden from my family. Whenever I’m in a really low point in my depression and don’t have the energy to keep it hidden, my parents just dismiss it as me being “grumpy” or “in a mood”. Sometimes they’ll yell at me if I don’t just cheer up on the spot. They think I’ve got nothing to be sad about. They sounds so ignorant and selfish, but really I know I’m the one who’s being selfish. I want to tell them I’m depressed, but I can’t because I’m not ready to come out as trans. Sometimes it feels like I’m screaming for help inside a soundproof box. I want somebody to ask if I’m depressed, I want somebody to notice my scars because I’m too much of a coward to say it myself. Am I being unreasonable? I want to tell them about my mental health but I just CANT. Am I being unreasonable for hating that they don’t notice?
Honestly, yeah kind of. People can't read minds. If you want them to know you're depressed then tell them you're depressed. People will always assume it's a minor temporary thing like that unless told otherwise. What you're saying here is basically the equivalent of being sick but being mad that people are saying it's a cold instead of cancer. Why would anyone ever guess cancer? They're going to go with the more normal explanation of a cold, like they're going with the more normal explanation of being grumpy instead of having depression.
I must agree with the first commenter. Even though you expect everyone (especially your parents) to know what's wrong with you, there is no possible way they could. I don't know how old you are. If you are in school, is there a counselor you could see there? Do you have any friends with whom you could discuss this? Sometimes, simply getting things off your chest can help - without you necessarily having to come out as trans right now. The bottom line is this - unless you discuss this with someone, you will suffer in silence. Good luck.
