I've always thought of myself as gay (I prefer the term gay to lesbian) since I've always been attracted to women. But I also never understood the sex-craze that seems so prevalent in society. I always thought that sex just wasn't a big deal to me, that I have an unusually low sex drive, or that I just don't think about it much. After a sort-of relationship with a girl who was extremely sexual and wondering why I don't seem to care about sex when other people do so much, I've been looking up asexuality and thinking I'm part of the spectrum somewhere. I may be asexual or demisexual but I'm mostly having a hard time defining myself because... When it comes to "sex" between women, what is even considered to be "sex"? It seems easier to define for hetero couples or between two men, but I've always found it hard to define when it came to lesbians. Does "sex" have to involve penetration or the genitals? What if I have romantic desires/physical desires for intimacy, touch, kissing, cuddling, and all that but (as a bit of a germaphobe) I'm completely repulsed by the idea of oral sex or even touching genital areas with the hands? If you're unclothed and being intimate with someone but not involving the genitals somehow, is that not considered "sex"? How can I know if I'm asexual if I can't quite define what sex actually is?