Alright, just looking for some advice, direction, etc. I'm almost 35 and my closet has been a revolving door. I'm still not sure what I want. Men? Women? A little background...had a best friend when I was a kid, boy, curiosity, exploring, etc. First crushes, all guys, 5th, 6th, plus grades. Friend in high school that was kind of a boyfriend, or at least I wanted the relationship to that, but he didn't. But that was my first sexual experience(s), which went on for a year or so. Until, my parents somehow found out that this friend and I were having sex. I got confronted by my dad and mom. This was the most shameful experience of my life. Very traumatized. Rest of high school, no dating at all, but took girl friends to prom and other events. College, called myself bisexual. Dated both guys and girls, but more girls than guys. Most people knew that I would date either though. Leaving college, I thought I'll just choose the straight path. It'll be easier. Then I went out into the world of work. Nobody at work knew anything, for years. I dated a girl or two. At this point, and for the next 10 years or so, I would tell some friends I was bi, date a girl, think that I'll just choose the straight path, over and over and over and over. So, that brings you up to now. I had in my mind for years that I want a wife and kids. But, it just isn't happening. I'm wondering, have I been trying to force myself on the straight path? Do I prefer men? My recent big crush is guy. Ok, I know I'm not straight. But I'd really prefer if things would appear to be more clear than they are. I know they probably won't be, but it would be easier. I feel like I'd really prefer to be either gay or straight, bi feels to confusing. I've got more to say and more that's on my mind, but that should get things started. Please give me advice or direction. I'm hoping to hear from some folks that had difficulty coming to terms with their sexuality in their 30's or later in life. -B ps, sorry if this is too much or a little scatterbrained, I've just recently resolved to talk more about all of this through this and with some friends.