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After years of self hatred I'm fully out and happy. Thank you!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Seeejay, Sep 7, 2020.

  1. Seeejay

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NSW, Australia
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I just wanted to come onto this forum to say a big thank you for being the first step into self acceptance that I ever took. Back in 2017 I came onto this forum under the alias 'someamerican' (because I was terrified of anybody recognising my username haha) and expressed my feelings for the first time after years of self loathing and toxic thoughts.

    Honestly, after all the kind words and support I got from everyone, I came extremely close to coming out to my brother the same day. A year later I came out to my entire family on what I now consider to be the best day of my life. At the time it was miserable; my parents especially took it poorly, even going as far as to try and make me go to a brothel to have sex with women since 'I'm just confused'. These days they're much more understanding and our relationship is great.

    The last 2 years have been a steady grind to undo all of the mental damage I did to myself over the course of 5 years. Finding a network of people who support my sexuality was an extremely important step in becoming comfortable with being gay; and if anybody reading this is struggling with being more open, I encourage you to talk - it's extremely hard at first but i promise it gets easier every time. I lost friends over coming out, but to be honest those people were never going to be good to me anyway.

    I'm terms of how it felt, alot of people describe it as a weight off your chest, but for me personally it wasn't so simple. It started with the worst, heaviest feeling I've ever experienced in my life, slowly starting to lift up over time as my emotions came out over the course of days, weeks and even months - and before you know it the feeling is gone.

    If you're reading this from the closet currently, take it from me - the longer you wait the harder it gets. You will become happier. Things will get better, even if not immediately. Trust and love yourself and your feelings.

    Thanks empty closets, for being the first step into my self acceptance. You changed my life.
     
  2. Jakebusman

    Regular Member

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    Congrats I know the feeling I knew I was Bi at 7\8 came out at 29 2 years ago I hid all that inside for 20 years was really taking a toll on me mentality.
     
  3. Lek

    Lek
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    Out to everyone
    Thanks so much for sharing your journey! And this was a good reminder: "Trust and love yourself and your feelings."
     
  4. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Thank you for sharing your experiences. Really glad to know that you have reached a stage where you are yourself and live your life without worries and have found acceptance.