1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Advise for 34 year old deep in the closet

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DoverDan86, Aug 25, 2021.

  1. DoverDan86

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2019
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Uk/ usa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    (Sorry for long story)

    So I’m 34, a dude, and as noted: deep in the closet. I realized I was attracted to other boys when I was 11, and thought I was fully gay by the time I was 13. I was bullied up until 12 for being “gay,” but “butched up” and fell in with the cool kids which made life easier for social survival.

    It was easy to date girls when I was that young as I thought them at least “pretty” and interesting, but was too young for it to get too serious so no big deal. I honestly would’ve stayed in the closet no matter what- but when I was 14 I met a girl that I went on to date for 8 years. I was genuinely crazy in love and infatuated with her. We became sexually active at 16/17, and remained very much so until we broke up at 22 (she moved abroad and things fell apart). This relationship obviously through a wrench into my whole “I’m gay” thing.

    I was so confused: I knew I definitely still liked guys through that relationship, and still fantasized about men. but my feelings for her were genuine and it was easier to just focus on those. I wanted to marry her and have a family; the whole thing. It made me so confused because I genuinely thought I was gay but then thought “whew…maybe I’m bi and can get away with just shutting that part of me up forever.”

    however when we broke up I think I “realized” that was my last chance at being in a “normal relationship” and being a dad (in the traditional sense at least; which I thought I always wanted). I don’t know the power she had over me but I just felt I would never have it again. I tried repeatedly to spark that same passion again with other women but never did- I don’t think I ever felt a true “attraction” to another woman sexually again. I became massively depressed and anxiety-laden, and withdrew from many friends. For years.

    I decided to just ignore that part of me for good and I guess just coast through life single- and consequently haven’t dated in years.

    The weird part is that I come from a very (perhaps more traditionally than dogmatically) Catholic family, which however was also a very liberal, tolerant and loving family. I even have cousins who are married to same-sex partners and the whole extended family celebrated with them at their wedding. It’s been beautiful to see.

    I was religious in college and active in college church groups but never made any doubt that I always thought same-sex relationships were perfectly natural and was more than happy to be the out-loud liberal who would openly and defiantly embrace same-sex relationships (in others) and flaunt it in the face of any nay-sayers. I even had several people come out to me as they thought I was a sympathetic ear in an otherwise conservative community, which was of course an honor.

    I however decided to never come out myself. I don’t know why other than I generally have always been a coward and am terrible at dealing with any level of adversity. (Classic upper-middle class white suburban kid here…we’re a soft lot)

    ANYWAYS- for whatever reason this year it finally came crashing down on me that I basically made a decision to never be with anyone ever again and essentially never be happy. I SWORE to myself I would go to the grave still in the closet but for whatever reason this year I have randomly started to feel that I can’t do it.

    But now I am 34: have never even hinted to another man that I had any attractions to them, and all I can obsessively think about is how OTHERS may be negatively impacted by my coming out (will they not want me to be around their kids? Will they treat me differently?) - and I just keep hitting a wall and have NO IDEA how to get past it. No matter how much I think “I would love to be in a relationship with a dude…” I immediately follow that with “well there are parts of the country/ world I would never feel safe in, so I shouldn’t,” or “will I ever be introduced as ‘this is my gay friend…’” - and I just deflate and retreat.

    i eben started messaging an old college friend who came out to me and is now married to a wonderful man; trying to build up the courage but couldn’t do it (I’m sure he’s very confused why I started randomly asking him personal questions about his experiences and then changed the subject, lol)

    I asked my lesbian cousin for her email to write an email asking her for help, but then thought “we were never that close, is this unfair or even rude to impose on her like that?”

    HOW DO I GET OVER THIS!?!? I am somewhat close with my dad too (my mom passed away- she was wonderful and would’ve been probably been supportive, I think she “suspected”) - and I know he would never shun me or anything, but of course I know he would “rather” have a son who gets married to a woman and makes grandkids.

    any advise at all!?!? Am I just doomed cuz I’m an absolute coward!? Thank you so much for reading this novel and proffering any advise….
     
  2. tidalpool127

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2021
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey man, I'm very nearly the same age as you and grew up a upper middle class white suburban family. I am from and still live in the Bible Belt in the Southeastern United States. I'm openly gay and married to another man. Just some info to let you know I'm from a similar background.

    I think you're being very hard on yourself. I don't think you're a coward. Even though we're gay our whole lives, it isn't a sign we wear on our foreheads. We often carry it in secret, even if we realize it young. I was around 7 when I realized why some of the meaner boys would call me "sissy" and other, worse names. It was also when I realized most other boys did not have the same thoughts and feelings I was having. So we learn to hide. However, this isn't grade school anymore, friend. Will some people be assholes about it? I'll be honest, yes, some will be. These people are few and far between though, even in the Bible Belt. Most people who disagree with who we are(which is crazy) have the couth to hold their tongue. I can say for myself that being in the loving arms of another man is 100% worth dealing with the occasional jerk.

    I came out in my early twenties and back then I struggled with all you are thinking about. You feel like you are losing the only life you've known. But buddy, think about how much of that life you spent lying to yourself, to others. If you come out, it doesn't alter you whole personality. You'll still be you, just a fully authentic version of you. A version that can be happy. Write your friend and cousin. These people love you and we have all been where you are. They will want to help you. Your worried about your dad? My dad is not very religious but my momma grew up in a fire and brimstone sect of Baptist. Buddy, the things she would hiss at me the weeks after I came out. However, today she calls my husband "son". Do you know why? Because once she got over herself she saw I went from a depressed teen who always looked like he was about to cry to a young man who was actually happy. Parents, the good ones, just want their children to be happy. You say your father is accepting of gay people. Do you really think the only gay person he couldn't accept would be his own son? I don't think so, he may have to adjust to the idea but if he sees you're happy he'll come around.

    Finally, you talk about who you might hurt if you come out. What about who you hurt by staying closeted? Namely, you. Why do you think you don't deserve happiness? You absolutely do. Plus, think about it. Out there somewhere is a man you don't know yet. That man is someone who wants to love and care for you; that man is someone who wants you to love and care for him. If you don't be true to yourself, you'll never get the opportunity to meet him. I think that's way scarier than being openly gay.
     
  3. DoverDan86

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2019
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Uk/ usa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thank you for your words and sharing your experience. I’m happy you’re in such a good place!

    i don’t know why (if it stems from this main issue or somewhere else)- but I just find I can’t work up the courage. For whatever genuinely good reason I think I should finally do it- I give myself a million reasons not to. As you pointed out- none of them are good reasons, but I just can’t seem to force myself to push through.

    I hate how I can only think of how others may deal with this.

    you hit the nail though with noting it’s still me- but I am terrified that that’s all anyone will see if me anymore. I get that it fundamentally doesn’t “change” who I am to just be open; but again- it’s getting caught up in others perceptions of me. This is brutal.
    But again, thank you and congrats :slight_smile:
     
    tidalpool127 likes this.
  4. tidalpool127

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2021
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks friend, I was just trying to show you it isn't as bad as you think, being out. I still say write to your college friend. He will understand. If you ask him to keep it a secret I think he will. We all know what this is like, please don't feel like you are alone you are not. Look, some people might reduce you to your sexuality but people who really care about you won't. It goes beyond just denying yourself love, carrying a secret like this...it eats at you. Believe me, I know. I know it is scary. But I think some of this is internalized homophobia. Not trying to say that's your fault; a lot of us grow up with it to some degree, myself included. We get told by the world we're in the wrong and we take it to heart. But they were the ones who were wrong, we cannot help how we are born

    Like I said, Iget being scared. I'll be honest with you, I lost a few friends when I came out. But those people weren't really my friends, they didn't actually care about me. Plus, the vast majority of my friends and family stuck with me. It might have taken them some time to adjust, but my interpersonal relationships improved when people knew the real me. People like authenticity. Most people, especially your loved ones, want you to be authentic around them. You're not a bad person for wanting to be you. You deserve to be loved for who you are. I advise you to write to your friend, your cousin. They know you personally and they both know what carrying this secret is like. I really don't think they would out you unless they were real jerks, which you don't imply. I think if you tell someone, even just one person that promises to keep it secret, it will help. It won't feel like you're alone against the world. I hope you can find that courage. I think you have it in you. Remember, you hurt no one by living as your true self.
     
    hockney, DoverDan86 and old tacoma like this.
  5. old tacoma

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2020
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    158
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    @DoverDan86 — tidalpool127 offers you an accurate perspective and great advice. Go ahead, reach out to your friend and your cousin.
     
    plainnilla and tidalpool127 like this.
  6. quebec

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    2,601
    Likes Received:
    1,288
    Location:
    Idaho, U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    DoverDan86.....I can so understand the fear of coming out - the fear of finally telling someone the secret that you've kept for so many years. I felt so afraid and so trapped. I didn't think that I could ever come out without destroying my life, my family....everything and everyone I loved. That is not an exaggeration. At the same time I could not go on with the conflict of denying who I really was any longer. It took a crisis that pushed me to within just a few minutes of taking my own life for me to finally beg for help here on empty closets. I got that help. I will, for the rest of my life, do my best to repay the un-repayable by helping however I can here on EC. I share this because I was also so depressed, afraid and filled with so much self-hate. My first step that night was coming out on empty closets instead of taking the pills. After that I spent a lot of time on EC asking for help, learning what it meant to be gay, trying to understand myself, to accept myself. The people here helped me more than I can really tell. You've already taken those same first steps here on empty closets. You're out to all the 80,000+ empty closets members and you are sharing and asking questions. So if you"re out to so many people already why should just a few more be so difficult? Silly question, because I know that it is...it sure was for me! :old_big_grin: But now you've got EC here to help you! I found however that, while empty closets was helping so much, I still had a serious need to be able to talk to someone about my sexuality face-to-face. I had said to myself that I would carry my secret to my grave...however, more and more that wasn't working for me.
    But that meant coming out in real life...more than on an anonymous website. Even though I had made enormous progress, that thought still terrified me. It took me a year. I came out on empty closets on December 25, 2014. I told my "First" on December 22, 2015. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker...a therapist. I had decided that the pressure was too much and that I had to tell someone no matter how much it scared me, so I did what I could to make it easier: 1) I would only talk to a licensed therapist so that the conversation would be private...no one else could know what I said without my permission. 2) To protect my identity, I searched for a therapist in a city 150 miles away from where I lived. I needed the distance to help me handle the fear of being seen, etc. I'm very well known in my small home town and I had a lot of fear about being discovered. 3) Because of the distance involved the therapist had to be willing to use Facetime or Zoom as I could only travel to the city occasionally. 4) The therapist had to be male...I just could not say what I needed to say to a woman. 5) He had to be at least LGBTQ qualified. Actually gay himself was my preferred choice. 6) He had to be willing to do a lot of our communicating via email...there were still a lot of things that I just couldn't say out loud to anyone at that time. I don't know if you can see what I was doing.... I was subconsciously setting up a list of requirements that would actually prevent me from seeing anyone. I kept telling myself that it was just for safety...but that was a lie. Fortunately for me the therapist I chose checked off everyone of those requirements. Later on when I told him about my list we had a good laugh at how hard I was trying not to talk to someone while, at the same time, I needed to so much. Human beings can be very strange at times! Talking to him was the final piece of the puzzle that allowed me to be free of all my depression, self-hate, guilt and shame. It didn't happen in one or two sessions with him, but the progress was amazing. He knew how I felt...he had gone through it himself. He understood my fears and has been incredible in helping me find my way to being a happier person than I have been for over 40 years.

    I have rambled on like this to say to you that there is a way out of the depression and fear that hiding your real self from the world can cause. You have already taken the first couple of steps on that path...keep going. Finding a therapist that you can trust is no different than going to a doctor/surgeon when you break your leg. Sometimes we just don't have the ability to take care of a problem on our own...we have to get help. Go out there and find that help. Find what you need to get across the river that separates you from a happy life. Please keep us updated...we do care!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    DoverDan86 likes this.
  7. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    15,868
    Likes Received:
    3,690
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think you've got some great advice and input here. I'll offer up one more piece: The guy you reached out to, and asked all the questions to... I'll wager a cup of Starbucks that he knows exactly why you asked those questions. Because he probably went through the same process himself. Those of us who have been through this generally can pick it up really easily in others. But most are sensitive and know that it isn't theirs to pry or ask questions until the other person is ready and starts asking themselves.

    You might consider reaching out again. As I said, I'm pretty certain he knows what's going on. He might be a safe person to begin talking to for advice,, assuming he's willing and open to the idea.
     
  8. old tacoma

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2020
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    158
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I previously posted in another thread about coming out to a long time gay friend and former coworker. It’s been months since then. It’s one of the best decisions I have made.

    If you can’t bring yourself to just simply blurt out “I’m gay” to your friend, here’s what I did: After a great lunch of delicious dim sum, and before the egg custard dessert was brought to the table, I said very matter of fact, “Well, I guess this is somewhat of a coming out lunch.” Since the other two guys at the table have been gay their entire adult lives, that left only me. There was a momentary pause in our conversation, followed by a rush of questions, all positive and all supportive. As I said, it was one of the best decisions I have made.
     
  9. quebec

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    2,601
    Likes Received:
    1,288
    Location:
    Idaho, U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    DoverDan86.....You've been on my mind all day. A few minutes ago I realized why...there was something that I wanted to say to you that I missed in my other post.
    .....If you were to decide to turn your back on your sexuality and find and marry a woman...do you realize the harm that you could be doing to her? Do you seriously think that you could just ignore your sexuality and magically become straight for the rest of your life? What about any children you might have. How would they react to finding out that their dad has been hiding the fact that he is gay from their mother and them? I ask this because that is mostly what I did. It was a little different in that I had been out in college and withdrew when my boyfriend/lover/soulmate died and I was rejected by his parents in a horrible way. Never allowed to see him as he grew ill, never allowed to come to the funeral and never knew where he was buried. I withdrew so totally that I even blocked my sexuality and memory of him. So I thought I was straight although there were more and more hints through the years. But at least I didn't do it on purpose.
    .....I'm not saying that you would do anything like this in an intentionally bad way...but think of the hurt that it could bring. I've have been very fortunate that my wonderful wife has accepted me and we are still together. I'm also out to two of my three sons and that has been good too. It could have been much, much worse.
    .....Also, what about that other gay guy out there...the one that you are destined to meet and to have a wonderful life with? Will he find someone else or will he forever be looking for the right guy...for you, and not be able to find you? What of all those great gay friends that your partner and you are supposed to have and spend time with? There is sooo much out there waiting for you and it all starts with that first step!
    .....You are not an "absolute coward" (your words)! You have already taken the biggest step of all by accepting in your own heart that you are gay and realizing that there is nothing at all wrong with it. Yes, telling someone else is also tough! Email that college friend and your cousin. They will totally understand...they have been there themselves! I came out here on Empty Closets because I was desperate and I also, like you didn't yet have the courage to tell someone face-to-face. It was still the experience that I needed and later on (a full year) I was finally able to tell someone in person. You can do and it will be the most important and best moment of your life! We are all rooting for you!
    .....Remember your are a part of our LGBTQIA+ Family and we do care! Please keep us updated on how this works out!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    DoverDan86 and Ingvermama like this.
  10. mnc99510

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2021
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have no advise, I just wanted to say I completely relate. I'm 33(will be 34 in October) and very deep in the closet. I keep thinking about telling different people and can't seem to do it. I have a letter I wrote to my parents but can't seem to get the courage up to do it. I wrote a blog and yet can't post it. I keep thinking I could start with my sister who I know will be supportive but I just can't get the courage to do it. I don't think you're a coward it's just hard and scary to think of revealing something so personal to other people.
     
    DoverDan86 likes this.
  11. staticinmyattic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2021
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    You’re absolutely right. I’ve had some great lgbt friends throughout my closeted life, and every last one of them said something at some point that indicated they could see in me what I wasn’t ready to see in myself. I’m so curious to find out, if I were to reach out and come out to these old friends, would they just say “Yes, I know”?
     
  12. staticinmyattic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2021
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hey. I’m in my 30s, married, kids, closeted trans lady. Here’s the choice I’m looking at. I can stay closeted, probably guarantee that I’ll stay depressed, and that my relationships and mental health with inevitably suffer. The only variable is how much the people I love and I will suffer from it. OR, there’s the new option I’m looking at. Being honest with my gender identity, and face the consequences with strength and courage. Both carry dangers, but the only one that guarantees that damage to my life and mental health (short term and long) is staying in the closet. It’s a shift in perspective that makes things a little easier to deal with.
     
  13. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    15,868
    Likes Received:
    3,690
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Almost certainly yes. There are people I identified 5 or 10 years before they came out. And there are people who identified me years before I came out. You're nowhere near as good at hiding yourself as you think you are, and -- here's a terrifying thought -- the more you try to pretend you're straight and "act more straight", the more obvious you are to those with good gaydar. :slight_smile:
     
    PatrickUK likes this.
  14. staticinmyattic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2021
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Ive never actually thought myself as gay, or even “not straight.” I’ve given myself every chance to feel same sex attraction, actually wanting to find it was there because it would explain a lot. Nothing. I’m just really into women, but what’s becoming clear to me is that my fascination isn’t just attraction, but aspiration. I have to be careful, I’m sure women think I’m checking them out when I’m actually thinking how awesome that top is, wishing I could rock it. I wish I could just say I’m a lesbian, but then I’d have to answer the “But wait… you’re a man!” response. No thanks.
     
    #14 staticinmyattic, Aug 31, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2021
  15. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    256
    Likes Received:
    124
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Nothing much to add except these thoughtful and kind responses are exactly what makes EC such a wonderful place.

    And as others have noted, in coming out to yourself, DoverDan, you've already taken the biggest step.

    Beth
     
  16. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,090
    Likes Received:
    1,470
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I really can’t add much to the great comments here but I will say don’t fall into the heteronormative trap that in marrying a woman you can some how keep your homosexuality at bay. Take it from experience it does not work. It is a recipe for years of unhappiness on both sides until finally one day you can no longer hide the truth. Unfortunately when that happens it’s usually years down the road, there could be children involved and it quickly turns into an emotional mess for everyone. I urge you to spare yourself and possibly other people you love the pain involved in trying to be something your not. I wish I had had the courage way back when to be the gay man I was inside. It would have so much easier in the long run. Coming out is hard, it is emotional, it’s physical, it’s intellectual, but in the end truly liberating. Good luck.
     
    I'm gay likes this.
  17. Rayland

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2021
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    70
    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have no real advice, but I can relate to you a bit. I am very close with my parents too and am scared of shocking them, even though my mom and sister would probably accept me, but I am mostly scared of my fathers reaction, because he knows that he has 2 daughters, but when one of the daughters suddenly becomes a son instead and one who likes men to boot, then it’s going to be shocking and he values traditional family too. You are not a coward. We all have fears and that does not make us cowards. It just means that we are human. Society puts this negative image on anything, that don’t fit within the social norms. Don’t loose your faith. I hope things get better for everyone, who have to be in the closet.
     
  18. DoverDan86

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2019
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Uk/ usa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I wanted to speak to this post specifically before acknowledging the epic amount of support on here….I just this past weekend was with my sister and her husband who, like your sister, I know would be beyond supportive and awesome about it. She is expecting her first (which I alone used as an excuse to say “she has too much on her plate to care”), but further let myself get VERY discouraged when she made a passing reference about my future wife/ child. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t think that could happen, and once again convinced myself that my coming out would somehow infringe on her happiness when I KNOW that’s bs. Reach out to her like I couldn’t. Even via email or text. I think it’ll help. Best of luck!
     
  19. DoverDan86

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2019
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Uk/ usa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I just wanted to genuinely thank you all so much for the stories and support!

    i but the nullet and (only via text) finally told that friend who instantly started giving me dating advise and asked that we meet up (he and his husband) next time I’m in town. It was both a little “too much too fast,” and really awesome - mostly the latter. It was terrifying at first but then once we started to chat a bit I got the feeling that it really wasn’t a big deal. We’ll see if I can hopefully make that feeling last!
    Thank you all so much for the support!
     
  20. tidalpool127

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2021
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's so awesome, DoverDan86! I know it's just your first person, but I remember the huge weight that lifted the first time I was able to tell someone I was gay.