Hi all, I know I’m new here and not sure if the way to start is to jump in and tell your whole story... but here it is anyway. I find it really hard to explain my situation to the people in my life, and often avoid answering any questions about my personal life as I don’t feel that anyone can understand. But I really want to find some way to change it, or move forward. Any advice would be welcome. I am 32. And I’ve never been with anyone... at all. I discovered I liked women at age 26 when I fell in love with my best friend. Obviously that didn’t work out but it helped me realise why I’d never been interested in guys. I realised I’d always had feelings for girls, I’d just never understood what they were because I’d always thought I was straight. I came out to my family thinking this would help me accept myself and hopefully find someone. I tried online dating, and went out with a few girls who seemed to like me, but unfortunately I didn’t feel the same. As a high school teacher I was constantly terrified my students would find my profile and this would create awkwardness at school, so I eventually took it down and haven’t been able to try that again since. As I live on a small island and do not enjoy clubbing or loud social situations at all, there are no options left to meet lesbians. I work LONG hours and have very little time for socialising in any case. I am a solitary person and enjoy my space. But I also do feel a longing to be with someone and to have the experience of a relationship. I feel so far behind everyone else in my life - even my 12 year old students have more experience than I do! I’d like this to happen at some point in my life but don’t really know how to go about it. Any advice?
Well if you will just hide and do nothing to meet other gay ladies you will never meet them. I can relate on working long hours, for me studies, two jobs and two NGOs is taking all my time, but I do found time sometimes to go to some LGBT events. You wrote that you live on small island, but maybe there still are some LGBT events happening? And about online dating, I think you shouldn't be afraid to try that. If your students find your profile, so what? It may create some awkwardness or it may not. You never know. But if you just be afraid of something bad happening you can miss out good things
I totally understand where you are coming front. I would recommend finding ways to interact and meet people online or even consider taking advantage of the summer break to plan a trip somewhere else where you might feel comfortable exploring. And in regards to the student body, I will approach your admin if you haven’t yet so they know what’s going on. If they support you and respect you, once your students or their parents find out you will have their support to face it all. Best of luck!
Hey @Len7 I can relate to quite a bit of your post, except I’m in (and close to being out of) an eight year relationship with a man. That aside, he’s the only person I’ve ever been with in any way, so I understand your feelings around lack of experience. I’m 31 now and started questioning around the age of 27. Plus, I’m a teacher (same age group), so I understand your concerns regarding work load, students discovering your profile, etc. Have you considered a paid for online dating site? I imagine you’ll be less likely to be discovered! I don’t drink or enjoy clubbing either, which I understand rules out some of the avenues for meeting people and can create awkwardness around “going for a drink”. Are there any social groups you could join at evenings or weekends? Perhaps not even an LGBT group, could be a women’s running group or something you’re interested in. Find people with a similar interest to you! Of course, you can talk to those of us on EC too!
