I'm 20 years old. I'm from India where its illegal to be gay. I was undecided and had planned to pretend to be straight and get married to a girl as per the traditional wishes of my parents. The one thing that changed my mind was Troye Sivan's new song called heaven and the video is so emotional. It potrayed lgbtq history and showed people about four five generations before me living out and proud. It also featured his new boyfriend jacob, so i went on tumblr searching about their realtionship and they seem to be really really happy and that was basically my turning point. I have a best friend named lets say harry. Me and him are very close ( i dont like him like that). But all of my friends make fun of us for being gay ( in jest of course ) and my cousins happened to come upon one such comment on facebook. So the next time i met them my cousins who are aged ( 16-26) all started angrily questioning me as to whether i was really gay. I ended up laughing the matter off saying it was just a joke and they were visibly relieved saying otherwise they would've sent me off to christian camp and not talk to me unless i became "straight". At which point i started defending the lgbtq community and they had called in all the parents from the other room. Soon it was me versus about 18 of my aunts, uncles, and cousins discussing why being lgbtq is not a bad thing. They started quoting the bible and saying the usual adam and eve stuff at me. But they started getting worried that i might be gay and decided to call the priest at which point i faked being in a relationship. My parents will pretty sure be against me being gay and may never talk to me again. Neither is religious but are concerned with what "everybody else" will say. I think my sister might be okay with this (not very sure). So i have to decided to pursue my higher studies abroad in canada(which i initially wanted to do in my country) in the hopes of settling there. And finally upon meeting the right guy i plan to come out to my parents from there. Yet i feel really sad at even thinking about doing such a thing because my entire family is quite close since all of us live about 5 minutes away from each other.
Hi there - welcome to the site! It sounds like you had quite an experience with your family, but from what you describe, I would say you handled it very well - you were clear on your thoughts and positions but you also were able to read the situation and didn't put yourself in too awkward of a spot either. You might not feel like that's much to be proud of, but I would say it is. As far as what to do in the future, there may be lots of different options. Taking some time to put a little distance between yourself and your family might be good in the long run for many reasons, both for you and for them (though of course it will come with its own challenges). Canada may work for you, or you could look somewhere else as well that won't be quite so far away (Australia, England, and so forth). Of course if you're already settled on Canada, go for it! Are you looking for any advice in particular on starting your studies there? Or more with your family?
With both. Although with family i don't think there's much that can be done. They will remain steadfast on their anti lgbt stand. Figured Canada was one of the most lgbtq friendly places and that's the reason for me choosing Canada. And the immigration process would also be simpler. ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2017 at 06:55 AM ---------- What other option is there ?
