1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Advice on coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DonW, Jun 3, 2020.

  1. DonW

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2020
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi. I'm new here. So let me just say that I'm bisexual (I've never told anyone that). I'm 50 years old and married. I have always known that I am bisexual. I have always been sexually attracted to both men and women. I have wanted to come out for a long time, but being from a very conservative area knew that I couldn't. The other night though my wife confided in me that she is bisexual ( though like me has never acted on her feelings) and has always been sexually attracted to both sexes. We are both very open minded, so this didn't bother me, and she knew it wouldn't. She then asked me if I had ever reflected on my sexuality. She gave me the perfect opportunity to come out and I didn't. And I really want to, but don't know how to go back and do it.
    Any advice would be helpful.
     
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  2. BiGemini87

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    287
    Likes Received:
    146
    Location:
    Petawawa, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hey, there!

    I think there's no right or wrong way, as long as you're safe and ready. :slight_smile: Perhaps sit down with your wife and start off with something like, "You know how you told me you're bisexual? Well..." You can explain that maybe her confiding it to you caught you off-guard, or that you didn't know how to confide the same when she did. I'm not sure what thoughts or feelings you had when she told you, but whatever they were, I'm sure she'll understand. Undoubtedly those feelings or thoughts have crossed her mind before too, and maybe contributed to her never coming out or acting on her attractions before.
     
  3. DonW

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2020
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thank you for the very insightful advice. I've been trying to figure itout, but every time I want to say something I get scared.
     
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  4. DonW

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2020
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I took your advice and talked with my wife. It was very releasing, and she was totally accepting and it was no big deal. She said she was happy that I was able to come out to her. I'm 50 years old, and she is the first person I've ever come out to. I'm feeling very euphoric.
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2,424
    Likes Received:
    963
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Congratulations! :slight_smile:
     
  6. BiGemini87

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    287
    Likes Received:
    146
    Location:
    Petawawa, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    That's wonderful! I'm so glad you were able to do it--both of you, in fact. It's never too late, right? :slight_smile:
     
  7. DonW

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2020
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks.
     
    don72tx likes this.
  8. don72tx

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2020
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    West Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So happy for you! It's a great feeling isn't it?
     
  9. DonW

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2020
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks. It certainly is a great feeling.