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Advice on being femboy?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Sp3ct3re, Sep 29, 2021.

  1. Sp3ct3re

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    I have always had a low self image and have always thought I would look good in a nice cute hoodie and a skirt and shorts, its not a dysphoric feeling but more me wanting to add a little more femininity to my life, my partner recently got me some clothes to try on (I love them so damn much), but the question I have is, how can I show a little femboy pride (Ik that sounds stupid) without being too obvious about it, the school I go to is in a highly Mormon state and the people here are brutal, so I was hoping some of you might have ideas?
     
  2. tidalpool127

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    I don't really wear anything routinely for women except women's watches because I think they fit my wrist better. I also want to express my femininity more but I carry a lot of shame from my family policing any feminine behavior when I was little. I wear a clear coat on all my nails, I like the shine. Maybe you could do that or try color.
     
  3. GazesToClouds

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    So unfortunately i cant really help with knowing if this would be noticed or not as im not really sure how strict your school would be (i graduated a few years ago with a buddy who was Mormon but he was pretty chill so my knowledge is somewhat limited)

    Im assuming from what you said that they might unfortunately be against most things i could suggest (which sucks because you deserve to be as fabulous as you want, the femboy look is PEAK fashion so im totally rooting for you) but something you could do is get natural coloured streaks in your hair, as my buddy did and he never got in trouble for it (again im not sure how that would go down for you).

    Another thing for me at least (and i totally agree with tidalpool) is nails, now again not sure if thats subtle enough (well it wouldnt be for me since my nails are usually pink) but you could try a clear for extra shine or maybe something neutral like a cream/skintone as it would still totally be there but less obvious to someone walking past you.

    Id also suggest ear piercings but that might be pushing it. I know if im feeling a bit rebellious i sometimes wear my thigh highs when i have long pants on because they are 1000% fab but also i dont need the comments from my family. Also i only wear womans socks/shoes (totally recommend they are so much more comfy than mens idk why) but thats really more to do with me having small and thin feet than anything else but with the added bonus of being fabulous.

    I guess it all comes down to what you yourself are comfortable with, and how you will be treated by your peers/elders. I know where i live in Australia nobody really cares about what you wear or look like as there arent really any "traditions" here, so what i think is totally acceptable might not be the same for you.

    I hope i gave you some ideas, i also hope you dont get into any trouble. Good luck!!

    p.s. underwear with lace is like the cutest thing ever

    p.p.s bouns points if its pink <3
     
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  4. GazesToClouds

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    Hey tidal i got your message and i didnt know how to respond to you, sorry im rather unfamiliar with this platform at the moment please feel free to DM me if you wanna chat i think i know how to work that haha
     
  5. GazesToClouds

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    *sigh* im not sure if im actually blind or something but i legit cant find the button you mean i found the show conversation fine but i dont get the text box to write anything its just nothing ill be sure to reply to you with an answer as soon as ive figured out how

    To Sp3ct3re id like to apologize for using your thread to communicate due to my technical difficulties. I am really sorry about this <3
     
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  6. tidalpool127

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    Spc3t3re and GazesToClouds, I just wanted to say I do understand about the people around you not wanting you to express yourself, particularly when it comes to femininity. I still struggle with internalized shame so I think you are both very brave. I am still dealing with this but I'm starting to now understand that the messaging I got as a little boy about what is acceptable for a man was wrong. Not that there is anything wrong with being female or feeling female inside, but we can express as much femininity as we wish and still be male, still be masculine. Don't let anyone tell you any different.
     
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  7. GazesToClouds

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    Thats the kind of positive reinforcement every single person deserves to hear! Preach it <3 I have received more support to be myself in the week or so that ive been on EC and i have to say ive never felt more accepting of myself. So thank you for being a part of that, i really cant express how much it means to know that even complete strangers are willing to support me with who i want to be. <3
     
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  8. Sp3ct3re

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    Naw man its all right, I dont mind, if it means I somehow indirectly helped you then thats good :slight_smile:
     
  9. PenguinBTW

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    You had mentioned nails, and I myself want to try it... but I'm not sure where a comfortable starting point is. I dont think my mom would be all to open the idea, so I was wondering if you had any idea on a good way to phase it in. (If you don't that's cool too, I know you said about going full pink.)
     
  10. GazesToClouds

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    First and foremost dont do anything that is gonna get you into trouble, because its not worth risking that. But if i were to suggest a way to "phase it in" perhaps start with your toes, its good practice and you can always cover them with sock/shoes. If you specifically want to do your hands you could try a clear coat, it will make you nails nice and shiny without being super obvious, another common trend i see is to have most of your nails a subdued subtle colour then having your ring finger a bright colour to contrast.

    You mentioned your mum, if she asks maybe just explain that you like it. I know my mum was a bit put out when i had my nails done the first time but she got used to the fact im a bit quirky. If you are comfortable id recommend talking to her if you think its going to bother her, communication and compromise is important. Maybe instead of going full pink, maybe you can agree on a colour she would be comfortable with like a nice subtle cream/skintone. Then its a win win. Then in time you can explore more when she is more comfortable with the fact that this is who you are.
     
  11. PenguinBTW

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    I've tried doing toes before and have become pretty comfortable with that mainly because nobody will ever see it. I feel like a clear coat on my hands is around where my comfort/confidence level is up there. That ring finger trend actually intrigues me and I feel like it would help me get over the social aspect. Do you have any ideas or recommendations on specific brands / colours to try when I want to move onto that? I think I could get away with it, and then over time I could try adding colours that pop.
     
  12. GazesToClouds

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    I cant really help with brands because i just use whatever is on sale haha (im a bit of a cheapskate) but there are different types and qualities id recommend having a look locally to see what you can get. As for colours just pick whatever you want, whatever you vibe with. Im a huge fan of pinks specifically pale pinks, but it also can depend on your complexion. Somethings clash and some things dont. If you are really stumped on colour choices look up a video on colour theory and that should help with matching colours. Its all about experimentation so have some fun with it, the colours you pick dont work just take it off and pick another one!
     
  13. BonaDrag

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    Depends on your vibe/style, but I almost always have one black nail varnish these days (so much so that my nails look weird if I don't have anything on!). I think its feminine without being too out there and also goes nicely with lots of clothes! I even know a few straight guys who've done the same.
     
  14. BonaDrag

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    THIS! I also always remind myself that feminine and masculine are not the same thing as female and male. Sometimes, people like to use them as meaning the same thing. I think this is where so much pressure and judgement comes from. Everyone has a certain amount of femininity and masculinity, whether they are a man or woman. Being feminine does not diminish your masculinity as a man and also does not diminish your identity as a man :slight_smile:
     
  15. PenguinBTW

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    You said about black, so I did the next best thing and did grey on my index. I kinda like it :slight_smile:
     
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  16. Sp3ct3re

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    Welcome to the club, hope you enjoy your stay :slight_smile:
     
  17. Sp3ct3re

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    Actually getting some thigh highs soon, they are gonna be pink and white, and as its entering wintertime I will 100% give this a try, thanks for the idea :slight_smile:
     
  18. PenguinBTW

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    Been wondering on where I should go with it next. Might just keep what I have now for a bit then think about it. Maybe another set of fingers. Maybe a different color... But hey, I'm glad I can kinda get past some of my anxiety and have fun with it too.
     
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  19. GazesToClouds

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    AWWWWW YISSSSS <3
     
  20. PenguinBTW

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    I bought a pair of normal black / white ones, just because it's easier to wear them periodically between normal black ankle cut socks, but wearing them under pants sounds so frickin comfy.