I’m home (out of state) temporarily while my apartment in LA is still there. Office in LA isn’t opening back up until post pandemic, so there hasn’t been a need to go back just yet. Work has been remote. In Oct, I met a guy (virtually) - let’s call him R in the same industry and hit it off over zoom. Both of were clearly too shy to make a move though and nothing ended up happening. Note that R is living in LA. Many months later, my roommate/friend caught up with R’s roommate who is a mutual friend and (with permission) let R’s roommate know that he knew someone who had a crush on R. She immediately knew it was me and was like, OMG R also has a crush on him back. Thus, me and R start texting again and begin flirting. We get on a zoom catch up and sparks fly. He seemed really into me and mentioned meeting up when I’m in LA and watching movies. He even mentioned one day in the future going to Disneyland together (which seemed a bit too fast to me but still). We loosely discussed getting on another zoom soon. I texted him four days later and initiated a flirtatious conversation, in which he seemed super into me. Things seem well... and I’m probably going to go take a trip to LA (with proper testing/protocols of course) in a month or so. Any general advice on how to play this? Should I let him be the next one to reach out after I just initiated? It’s been a while since I’ve been single and doing this so I’m a bit rusty. How can I make this a success and long play it?
I do not understand why you would think that going on a casual date would be "too fast". Dating is how people get to know each other. Unless that is, that "going to Disneyland" has changed meaning from to be together at a family oriented amusement park into "have casual sex" the same way that "chill" has changed from simply spending time together into "have casual meaningless sex". For me, I would be more worried about whether or not cross country travel to spend time with someone that I have never met and have only known long distance for four months and only in the past couple of weeks even started really talking to as more than a distant acquaintance. I think that just spending more time getting to know him with long conversations and such and just seeing how things develop is a good idea. I knew my ex-husband for four years long distance and even traveled to stay with them for three months before finally moving in together and then getting married only to find that it was a disastrous mistake. Talking long distance and really knowing someone are two different things. Take a lot of time and talk a lot about real issues before committing to anything.
I don't think you have to wait for him to initiate as long as you don't bombard him with messages. Its still early days but so far so good. If you feel like you get to a point where it is only ever you that initiates then that's different but for now I think its fine just keep getting to know him.
