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About "ex-gays"

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Thunderlane, Oct 11, 2014.

  1. MrK21

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    Also they could just as easily be bi.
     
  2. biAnnika

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  3. One Man Army

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    Yes. The fact that they're no longer having sex with - or even checking out - other people of the same sex gives them enough reason to believe they're 'cured' of their homosexuality.

    In other words, it's a case of going back into the closet and barricading it with metal bibles.
     
  4. resu

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    I think some of them may be bisexual and have some legitimate attractions to women, but they call themselves gay to make it seem like they chose the straight life. Then, there are gay guys who just become effective in repressing their sexuality.
     
  5. C P

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    If only they did work.....

    Either way, I'm with resu in that some of them are likely bi but repressing their feelings for whichever gender they are, or they have just become pretty effective at repressing their sexuality in general if they are mono.
     
  6. BryanM

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    There is no such thing as an "ex-gay"
     
  7. Blossom85

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    They might believe they have been cured, but I don't believe they have.. There is no cure for it.. People who think that there is just don't want to accept their family member or friend or that they themselves are gay.
     
  8. edgy

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    Do you think they're bi?
     
  9. VideoGameLover

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    I think with enough will-power, someone could repress their sexuality and get accustomed to celibacy.

    I don't think that it is really possible to force an attraction to the other sex. If you DID somehow achieve that, it could just hint to sexual fluidity or bisexuality.

    Though I'm no scientist or researcher.
     
  10. biguy8

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    The thing that really bugs me is those that say, "Yes, if we can rehabilitate pedophiles, then we can change gays." Pfftt...nothing to say.
     
  11. DarkestDream

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    Nope..no such thing as an 'ex gay'. I spent seven out of ten years in a loveless marriage completely celibate, so it can be done. However, that doesn't mean that I didn't have any desire for women. I just had an insane amount of hormone buildup (if there is such a thing lol) when I finally got divorced.
     
  12. Sorceress of Az

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    Its sick to think some people are so warped that they treat it like a disease,
    Its a product of being indoctrinated into an Abrahamic Faith, they teach that its sinful and wrong, they ignore the other 600 laws of the Torah and focus on a single rule, that was meant for Hebrew priests alone, most ddon't know that the bulk of the rules in the bible are for priests, its still an unjust system though.

    Next time a "religious" person gives you hell for being gay ask them if they ever slept with some one outside of marriage, had a devorse, shaved, worn clothes woven of two fabrics, or eaten a hotdog,
    if they say yes promptly inform them of the fact they've sinned and are going to hell.

    Sorry for the rant
    I am a bit emotional at the moment. lol
     
  13. happydavid

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    Maybe they are lying to themselves based on fear of other people's responses and they are trying to believe that they are straight
     
  14. Beware Of You

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    When I was a teen I nearly signed up for the Catholic form (I was actually a convert to Catholicism after spending most of my education in Catholic schools).

    Anyway probably the only friend I had in school and the only one who I told I am gay (I hated it, was in the closet and had no plans to come out) stopped me from doing it (he is an atheist) and spend a day talking sense into me I suppose.
     
  15. Tightrope

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    A lot of these "ex gays" who are in these church sponsored movements are also in marriages where I think the sexual intimacy is far below the norm but they present a different face, that of a happy and highly functional marriage, to their fellow churchgoers. This usually only works when the wife has low sexual intimacy needs, and the living arrangement is comfortable and predictable so change is more threatening than maintaining the status quo. There's a "dar" of sorts for this, too. You can sort of tell whose marriage is a charade in many cases if you are around the people long enough.
     
  16. gravechild

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    You know, this is something I've always wondered about. What with all the "former straights" on sites like EC, how many were that obvious and predictable from an outsider's point of view? Were any genuinely the type to go around chasing members of the opposite sex, and surprising everyone, including themselves, after coming out, or were they all awkward and forced in their interactions? Did they actively describe themselves as straight without hesitation? The typical narrative seems to be, "Well, I knew at 6/12/15, but suppressed it for years" but I've also seen those who genuinely had no clue, and *thought* this was what straight was, and assumed everyone went through the same thing (or made other excuses, like, "I just have a low sex drive").
     
  17. CyanChachki

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    I was a little bit reluctant to post this because I was a bit worried about the possible backlash but I'm going to take a chance.

    I had been dating a girl a few years back when I was 21 who was a lesbian and ended our relationship because I admitted to her that I was thinking about going through surgery to become male. Last year, told me that she was straight and that she had started dating a man which I was immediately supportive of. My other ex, who I have absolutely no contact with who was also a lesbian has admitted to my sister that she's straight and that she's also dating a man (this could also be completely false but it's just what I've heard)

    I don't believe that they're straight but only because I have a sneaking suspicion that the ex I'm still in contact with is now dating a woman (due to the things she's said on facebook) and I've been told that the ex I'm not in contact with has tried to not only kiss my sister multiple times, but her friends as well. Again, it could be just a rumor.
     
  18. Reptillian

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    I really hate the fact that transitional sexual orientation is assumed to be something related to ex-gay movement. Yes, people's sexual orientation can change as the brain itself can have altered states due to circumstances that alters the functions of the brain related to sexual orientation. However, that does not imply sexual orientation is a choice. It just means such cases are extremely rare. As a former straight, I had experienced dying sexual orientation, and my sexual orientation is dead after a certain point. Just around 16, sex is no longer needed as it is dead. I am now 21 and still see this as valid.
     
  19. MrK21

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    Also a common misperception:
    Not all ex-gays are die hard Bible thumpers. In fact, in the real world I am actually nearly completely stealth about being that way, simply because it is not anybody's business.

    ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2014 at 11:55 AM ----------

    Also, this is really where I really feel the line is blurred on transphobia, because of yeah the whole irony of the situation in my case. In a case like this, is it REALLY transphobic to reject a transperson that identifies as the opposite gender?