I know im not straight ,i just know it. Have secretly admired same gender as mine since High school. And now that im in college im liking someone too. Ive told one person, knowing she has come out and everyone knows she is. But im trying to go in a straight way having the family i dream in my mind, a family with a man and a woman. Thats what keeps me from coming out, and of course my family wouldnt happy about it too. Am i doing right?
I mean, as long as you’re safe, do whatever makes you happy. This is your life, live it how you want to.
‘Straight. Bisexual. Lesbian.’ They are all labels. If somebody cares that you are queer, they don’t actuall care about you. As simple as that. You sound bisexual to me, but it’s for you to find out and you to know. This isn’t really advice, but this is stuff I hope everybody knows.
Aww thanks for that . made me feel lighter . I guess thats the best i can do. To just follow what ive planned. Maybe im just too afraid to go in different direction.
Thanks . I only get to admire or like girls that i can sense is just like me tho. Not the straight girls . Thats the complication im trying to figure out
You need to take some time to pause and carefully reflect upon the idea of entering into a relationship with another man and having kids, if you know you have feelings for the same sex. Don't ignore or dismiss what you are feeling, because it could return to bite you 20-30 years down the line. Do you really want to face a crisis when you are 40 or 50, because you chose to ignore all of these present feelings in pursuit of the idea of 'happy' families and public conformity? Many older members of this forum will bear testament to that fact that it doesn't work out well. Don't rush into things or brush aside your feelings. It could be a huge mistake, if you do.
Im feeling crisis even now . But i still get attracted to boys just like i feel likewise for girls. I guess ill just wait, and make time decide or give me direction as to where i should go and should be. Thanks for your words ,These possibilities that might happen.
Patrick is right. It doesn't mean you can't find a man and be totally happy and satisfied with a "straight life", if you are bisexual. However, a happy life will happen if your feelings are true. If you are bisexual and happens to find a man you love and are satisfied with, then that's great. However, forcing yourself to go that way could lead to internal and external pressure, and that's really not the way to go to find happiness. In other words: Even if you are bisexual, you shouldn't pressure yourself to "pick a side" just to please others, or you may find yourself in a very uncomfortable position in the future. This is your life and your happiness. You won't please everyone during life, but you can try that and sacrifice your internal peace in the process, or you can stay true to yourself (that doesn't necessarily means coming out - it means not forcing yourself to do things just to please other people, or because other people may not like something). There is a word you used in your last post that is key, in my opinion: "possibilities". In my opinion, instead of "choosing", "forcing" a "side", you should just stay open for possibilities. If you end up with a man, that's great! If you end up with a woman, that's also great!
Yes i was wrong about the thing about happiness , missing the point that i may find happiness in either of the sides. Im just kinda afraid, im new with this. Thats what keeping me from coming out or just even telling it to closest people to me. Maybe i will just need to go with the flow but putting my happiness in front. Thank you so much. Ive picked a lot of good advice from you.
As Patrick said, maybe take the time to look at who you are and the kind of person you are and can be. I am one of the ones who didn't listen to me when I was younger. The struggles, the pain, the realizing of what I might have missed out on. These are what I am dealing with now. Your life, your path, will not be the same as anyone else. There might be a lot of similarities to others. But you are unique. You are you. Maybe allow your self to find your "happy place". Hopefully not the same way as some of us have. Life is yours to experience. Find out who you are. Find the true you.
Because my mindset is that i can control it, and when i get older and be able to start my own family, I can get to choose a man and forget about liking the same gender as me. I dont know , maybe i can do it,maybe not.
Up until a few weeks ago I thought I could control my feelings, my emotions, and my gender thoughts through out my life. I tried to hide or run away from all of these within my own heart and mind. I thought I was doing so well at this, being in control of my life. I found out that eventually the real me was screaming to get out, to be let out. I came to understand that suppressing my true self didn't work. Hiding hurts. Hiding hinders. Hiding doesn't work. Hiding, at least for me, caused some problems that I am now having to deal with. Kear, your path is of your choosing. Your dreams, your thoughts, your emotions, are yours to have and keep. You have your life ahead of you. I guess I'm just trying to say that maybe take some time. Take a step back in your thoughts and really look at you. Ask your self questions- Does this make me happy? Will that be true to who I am? Can I accept who I am? Talk to others here at EC. Any thing to help you in your life. I wish the best for you.
