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A love letter to EC... Share yours!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lyman, Nov 11, 2020.

  1. Lyman

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    Do you know all those people that keep saying “It gets better”? Well, believe it or not, they’re right. It takes time and courage, but it does get better.

    And in my case it started getting better on May 11th, when I joined this wonderful site. Six months later, I wanted to drop by and say a big, heartfelt “thank you” to all the folks around here, including those who work hard to keep the machines functioning.

    EC saved me. I don’t know what would’ve been of me if I had been born before the Internet existed or if I could only get support from crazy redditors. I still have a long way ahead, but I know I’ll be fine.

    So this one time, I’m not here to ask for advice, but to offer some... If you’re reading this and are at the same dark place many of us have been at, please do open up to someone you trust, to a local LGBT+ group, post at EC (it’s completely safe!), etc. Don’t let fear and shame shackle you — even if you’re all mistaken and turn out to be cishet, that’s totally okay. Silence is your enemy — it will only make things worse and worse.

    I once heard that “The worst mistake one can make is believing that they are different from every other human being in the world.” Sweeping the questioning process under the carpet didn’t work for literally millions of people. Why would it work for you?

    By the way, who/what “saved” you? How better did it get? I want to hear some inspirational stories and I bet so do others!

    P. S.: I’ll probably share some updates on how I’m doing sooner than later, but not here and not now.
     
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  2. quebec

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    Lyman.....I have to agree with you about Empty Closets. EC literally saved my life. I had been fighting my sexuality for a long time, working hard to pretend that I was straight. On Christmas Day evening 2014 I hit my final crisis. That night I was seriously looking at taking my own life, but decided to make my first post on EC begging for help. I got that help from the wonderful people here in our LGBTQ+ Family. Ever since then my life has changed in many wonderful ways as I have learned that I can love myself. All the shame and self-hate that were destroying me are gone! THANK YOU EMPTY CLOSETS!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  3. Lyman

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    Hi, David. I've been collecting tiny bits of your personal story from the posts I saw you post in the past, and I have to say that I didn't know how it all had begun.
    I find what you describe here extremely emotional and powerful. Thanks for sharing it! I'm really glad that you're at a far better place now, and that you're here with us, to share love and advice. By the way, congrats on becoming an official Advisor! (You weren't one, were you?)
     
  4. quebec

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    Lyman.....Thanks for your post! I'm glad that anything I've posted in the last 6 years has been helpful to our LGBTQ+ Family. I really was at my lowest on that Christmas night in 2014. I was desperate and decided to make one last try for help. I had recently found Empty Closets by "accident" and had been snooping around the site for a few days. I decided to make one post asking for help and gave myself 5 minutes to receive an answer before taking an overdose of pain meds. It sounds so terrible now when I think of what it would have done to my family...but at that time I couldn't see past the pain and anguish that had nearly destroyed me. The response I got from the incredible people here on EC pulled me back from the edge. Over the next year, Empty Closets was my one and only LGBTQ+ contact. I didn't come out to anyone face-to-face until December of 2015. I will forever be in debt to Empty Closets for saving me that night. Anything that I can do here on the website to help others is only a small payment for what I was given in December 2014. Yes, I am on staff now as an advisor. That's pretty much what I was doing anyway but with some additional staff responsibilities.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  5. Lyman

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    Hi, David. Happy gayniversary! My Christmas day family gathering was rather dull, and one of the thoughts that crossed my mind during it (while wishing for the gathering to be over) was that 6 years ago this really nice man from Idaho was being saved by EC from doing something everyone would've regretted.
    Wow, that really breaks my heart. It's funny how a small action can influence so many lives... The train someone didn't take, the love declaration someone didn't make... Or, in this case, the short replies @Candace and @greatwhale typed out. Not only your family, friends and former students were positively influenced by it, but also lots of EC-ers!
    So, basically, you resurrected among the dead, and now you're a gay angel saving gay souls.That's wholesome! You've certainly earned your wings.
     
  6. Lyman

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    Actually, I've been doing some archaeology because I wanted to know more about your story. I even found your first post, which is both here and here. It brought tears to my eyes:
    I love reading the stories of your generation because it gives me a clearer idea of how my dad's brain is ingrained and what to expect from him and which steps to take accordingly. If weren't for posts like this and this one, I would have a worse understanding of how growing up in the 50s and 60s was like.

    I'm so glad that you came out to your wife and she reacted well, that you found online support to not feel alone in this world when you most needed it, that you had such a beautiful 70th birthday (that one made me sob)... And, well, now I've re-read the Tim story, which is one of the most emotional stories on this whole site, and I've cried for a few minutes to it, once again:
    The story of Tim and David is so beautiful... For 50 years, it only survived as a repressed memory in some corner of your mind, and then it came back to life. He came back. And it's so marvelous how a random picture stored at a random place can mean a world, like this one did!


    What I want to say is... Thanks for helping us, the younger generations, to not being cheated!
     
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