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A little darker question

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by MikeL1962, Apr 7, 2021.

  1. MikeL1962

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    So for a very long time I have struggled with depression, Anxiety, substance abuse and Alcohol issues. I think it's from years of suppressing the true me. I am now on anti depressants...although I feel better I don't think it has solved anything really. To those of you who have dealt with this..do you get any better after coming out and living your true life.
     
  2. Suitsme

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    I have always battled with depression and anxiety as part of my chronic health issues.

    Having said that though, since I came out I felt like part of the weight on my shoulders lifted. It’s still not easy though and I find that we have to constantly come out to new people as we go through life’s journey. But once the part of me that was hidden could actually be out and proud, it did help with some of my anxiety. I ended up in a total mess with my mental health as things came to a head before I came out. A lot of pain was alleviated afterwards.

    I still struggle but like I said, that’s to do with my health conditions.

    I’m sorry to read of your struggles. I do hope that some of your pain will subside now that you are able to be yourself.
     
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  3. ShyBirdy

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    I also struggle with anxiety and depression, but I only acknowledged that I’m not straight a few months ago, so I don’t know if coming out helps.

    I can say that what’s helped me with my mental health issues is medication, seeing a counsellor, a support group that I attend and other things I do to help my mental health. EC has helped too, since now I have somewhere to get support for LGBTQ issues.
     
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  4. QuietPeace

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    I am diagnosed Schizoaffective Disorder with Bipolar Type II. Also, anxiety issues, PTSD and I have had some issues with alcohol. Medications do not help me, I only get the side effects and no help with the depression.

    Living as my true self helps a great deal but I have also needed a great deal of talk therapy and I have had to do a lot of self discovery to figure out why I get into abusive relationships. I am still working on the PTSD.

    Some things that have helped are paying attention to my patterns and trying to learn, meditation and mindfulness. When things get tough I have to just tell myself that it is the depression talking and that it will eventually go away. It is the same with the anxiety, relaxation and deep breathing help me get through but sometimes no matter what I do self harm and I just accept that it does happen.
     
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  5. MapleCross

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    I have always suffered from anxiety and reactive depression but since I came out as gay and found a partner to share my life I no longer suffer from depression. However saying this it is not a sudden change but rather the start of a process. Being able to be honest with yourself and not having to live a double life pretending not to be gay and acting as a straight man is like a great weight being lifted off your shoulders but it takes time to become fully effective.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Coming out certainly helps, especially when self-suppression is/has been a serious drag on our emotional wellbeing, but I won't lie and say it will turn all the darkness into light, because it won't. Having said that, nor will antidepressant medications, which really only take the edge off the worst feelings.

    LGBT people who go into therapy will almost certainly identify issues concerning their sexuality and/or gender identity, but once they begin to unknot the string other things will come up concerning personal and familial relationships and aspects of our personality and behaviour that we may regard as unsatisfactory or challenging. In many cases we will go right back to childhood to see how things developed and arrive at the realisation that we are still trying to protect the boy or girl we used to be.

    Therapy is often the key that unlocks the door, but many people resist the idea of making themselves vulnerable or give up when the going gets tough (which it is almost certainly will). Committing to the process and using it as an opportunity to come out, with help and support, will be the most effective way forward.
     
  7. MapleCross

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    I agree with you Patrick that talking therapy is so valuable. This is what I meant by it being a process rather than an event. However, one problem is that most counseling services costs money and not everyone is able to afford the cost it for most people it will take many sessions to explore but is so worthwhile.
     
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  8. MikeL1962

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    Thanks to all of you for the ideas and hopes. I'm looking at some therapist's and help.
     
  9. resu

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    I would say severity of depression is very dependent on your environment: work, home, friends, family, etc. Medications help, but often life change (like coming out) can really create a new path for clearer thinking. When looking for therapists, try finding those who use "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)" because that has a lot of research to back it up.
     
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  10. quebec

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    MikeL1962.....There is no question that the suppression of my sexuality caused a great deal of self-hate, guilt and therefore depression. When I came out and accepted that I am and always have been gay it was a huge step on the path to healing. All of those things that had tormented me for so many years began to fade but they in no way disappeared over night. It took time for my attitudes, my thoughts and my outlook on life to change. As those things changed so did my depression. I think that I first became really aware of the change when a friend that I had not come out to commented that I seemed to be much happier in the last few months. I realized then that I was happier and I knew why! That realization was a really significant moment for me. I knew that accepting my sexuality was a big deal but when other people started to see a change in how I was acting around people, I knew that the self-hate and guilt really were disappearing. That was a very big piece of progress for me.
    ......David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #10 quebec, Apr 14, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2021 at 10:55 AM
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  11. MikeL1962

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    Thanks David....I really appreciate the positive energy.... really!