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A kinda 50 year old virgin

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Camel, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. Camel

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    This is all going to sound quite weird I'm afraid.

    For many years I was in denial about being gay. I even spent time in a conservative monastery. The only sexual encounters I have had with other guys have been drunken and highly unsatisfactory. I have never had anal sex.

    Now my problem is most guys my age are experienced. And I am like an inexperienced teen where sex is concerned. I would like to get more experienced, but am embarrassed to explain my lack of experience.

    So where does one go for other middle aged gay virgins?
     
  2. Nickw

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    Hey

    I know the feeling. I came out to my wife at 57. I never had any real sex with men in my life. My wife suggested I needed to experience this or I'd always regret it.

    BUT. Every guy my age wants either a relationship or jump right to intercourse. I needed to move at my own pace.

    I lucked out. I met a guy at a hookup site and we mostly chatted about rock climbing and exploring the desert. He is mid twenties and had very limited experience. As oddly as it sounds we became friends and learned to have sex together.

    There are others out there. I wouldn't suggest looking for a young guy...it usually is a bad idea. But, I would look for a friend first. I treasure my first time with this guy. It was so special and memorable.

    It is frowned on here. But, I used a hookup app to meet this guy. But, I was upfront about not having sex right away. Too many guys who only want a one night stand and I knew that wouldn't work for me.
     
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  3. smurf

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    This. I know you are uncomfortable talking about it, but you really need to be upfront with people so you can have a good experience. You need a guy who would be up for taking things really slow, have patience and also enjoy having this experience with you.

    I can speak from "the other side" as the twenty-something who has slept with my share of guys around your age and older. Age and sexual experience don't matter. Confidence, even if you have to fake it a bit, is sexy as hell. Own your story, demand what you need from this first encounter with a guy, and enjoy the hell out of everything. That applies to most people regardless of age.

    Congrats on getting to a place where you can be honest with yourself and good luck in this new adventure of yours :slight_smile:
     
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  4. Camel

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    Thanks for your reply. Yes, the problem is older men just want sex and younger men either want a father substitute or money.

    Making gay friends is probably the way to go. Hook up apps and sites and bathouses probably don't represent the best of gay culture.
     
  5. Nickw

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    You could try meetup sites like hiking groups etc. They didn't work for me because I'm still married and that doesn't play well in the out and proud gay crowd. Bisexual is not politically correct. So, I had no choice but the hookup apps and being super selective.

    I love men...well people in general...so, a lot of hookups didn't pan out and I don't care. I just like having a beer with someone and hear his life story.

    As Smurf said. "Own it". I guarantee you will find someone who will give you what you need. It just takes a LOT of effort. I decided I could be upset about the effort and the work or I could make this search a good thing.

    Don't given up and do have a good time!
     
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