It's been a couple of months ago since I posted. My divorce was finalized almost three weeks ago. I'm trying to move on with my life - I found work in a factory which has overall been ok, but the pay isn't enough. I see my kids most weekends, which is good. Life is ok, but meh. I'm still getting used to the freedom that I could pursue gay sex or a gay relationship if I wanted to. It's overwhelming - I'm both eager to have sex with a man (finally!) but also freaked out. It feels huge. I suddenly am dealing with internal homophobic thoughts that I don't actually believe. It's more like, where did that come from???