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"A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear this?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RemakeJake, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. Austin

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I think what children need is a stable home and parents who love them and teach them right.
     
  2. blueberrykisses

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    Everything I need to say has already been said. People who think children need a mom + dad are the same people who think you need a penis to have proper sex. It's heteronormative bullshit.

    Aside from what's already been said, why would you need both a prominent male/female figure in your life? I don't understand how the sexes of your family members matter. People who say that make it sound like people who grow up with same sex parents will be isolated from males/females. We all have male and female teachers, friends at school, we see both genders on TV, on the streets, we all have cousins/siblings, grandparents of either sex, etc. Half of the world's population is male and the other is female, you will always have both in your life. Whether your family is of only one gender or both is irrelevant. I have a mom and a dad and never really had another adult male figure in my life, of course I have uncles etc but I was never close to them. If my dad didn't exist growing up I wouldn't have known what it was like to have a father anyway, so it wouldn't matter to me that I didn't have him in my life.

    It's like what one of those twats Dolce or Gabbana said, that they couldn't imagine life without their mom and dad. Of course they couldn't, those people are their parents. Nobody can imagine growing up without their parents. And that is the same for kids of same sex couples, they can't imagine being brought up by anyone else but their same sex parents either.

    People are stupid and need to stop projecting their own life experiences onto others because their heteronormative life isn't relevant to same sex couples and their children.
     
  3. Randomcloud

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I feel pretty offended. Not just for myself and any gay person who wants to raise a child (because the implication is that we are not "enough" to be adequate parents) but also for anyone raised in a single-parent or same-sex parent (or carer) household. Is their family somehow flawed or less valid because of these claims (unsupported by research might I add) say so? Also if you say a child needs a mother and a father you are implying that males and females can only carry out certain roles and that your gender determines your capabilities. Hmm
     
  4. blueberrykisses

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t


    EXACTLY. It is sexist bullshit.
     
  5. Mith

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    Using the same logic single parents couldn't grow their own children. Besides I think that the child simple will took a mother/father figure outside the family, growing in a gay family doesn't mean that the kid won't ever see other people: teachers, coach, neighbors, uncles, grandparents, family-friends and whatever can all be a father/mother figures. I never understood why this society is so nuclear-family, like if the children can't meet anyone else then their parents, there is an entire community around them.
    The argument of the poor child confused is weak, IMO.
     
  6. CuriousLiaison

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    There's a story on PinkNews at the moment. Charles Moore, former editor of the Telegraph and biographer of Margaret Thatcher has said (while generally complaining that a "gay rights sharia" is trying to silence debate) that "To think that a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman, preferably married to one another, are – other things being equal – the best parents, is common sense."

    His choice of words made me think of the Einstein quote that "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
     
  7. Michael

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I agree.

    By the way, even if I'm binary, I dislike the idea of a kid needing a younameit figure to grow up well. I just don't believe in that theory. Sorry, Mr. Bieber & co., I ain't a believer :grin:
     
  8. Cubiculum

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I can't see any differences between being raised by two mums or dads, rather than a standard heterosexual couple. As long as the child is loved and cared for, what difference would it make?
     
  9. Images and Words

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I start crying at how stupid they are. I just burst into tears. I start thinking like...
    [​IMG]
     
  10. MyLittleWorld

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    Baby needs people who love them, who cares what gender they are. End of story.
     
  11. Justinian20

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    You do realize that you do not need a mother and father figure in your life, plenty of single parents raise children and so if you say same sex parents can't work, well you're pretty much saying give up single parents(you can't raise children, you need someone else to help you). It's not just insulting same sex parents in insinuating that you need a mother and father figure to raise children, it's insulting those single parents who have had to work harder to raise their children cause it is only one person caring for them instead of two.
     
  12. Mith

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    Just to clarify, I was using the logic of who says that a baby need mother and a father; the best way to destroy the opinion of other people is using their logic against themselves (math docet).
    I think that the soon as the society will free itself from the cultural difference of roles as better it will :slight_smile:
     
  13. blueberrykisses

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t


    That's great. I've never heard that. :eusa_clap
     
  14. AwesomGaytheist

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    If you're so obsessed with children being raised by a mother and a father, why don't you spend your time trying to ban single parenting?
     
  15. Fallingdown7

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I think It's bullshit. A lot of children do need positive role models of both genders though, but this can be achieved through friends, godparents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc.

    These days, more and more people don't have 'traditional' families. Many people are getting divorced and there are more single parents than ever. If you're going to shun same-sex families, first you should be banning single parents since they're far more common.

    What's the difference in regards to men and women raising children anyway? Between a cisgender straight couple, the only major difference is the genitals which your children aren't going to be seeing. They see the difference in ROLES, which same-sex parents can also imitate. Even in straight couples, men can be motherly, women can be fatherly.

    If It's about reproductive organs and teachings, this would still be a problem between a cis person dating a trans person (in a straight couple) since I guess the proper "mother/father" figure wouldn't be there either. Cis gay men that raise a daughter can still teach her about periods and reproduction, and if It's too embarrassing for the girl, they can direct her to aunts and grandmothers. It's not that hard.
     
  16. biAnnika

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    Loads of children in our society grow up with one mom or one dad, for lots of reasons (can't find the father, father dies, mother dies, father or mother gets moved for work, father or mother in prison, mother abandons father and child...lots of reasons).

    Societally, we don't give those single parents shit. Sure you might receive pressure as a single parent to "find someone else"...but my sense is that this is generally from your own parents; not from society in general.

    There is research that suggests that children raised in a home with two parents who love one another are (statistically) more likely to do better than children raised in single-parent homes (*please* note that this is not a statement about single parents, but a statement about outcomes of children raised by single parents).

    And has been pointed out elsewhere, there is research that suggests that children raised by a loving same-sex couple are at least as likely (statistically) to do well as a child raised by a loving mixed-sex couple.

    So put the connectives together: If the argument is that every child needs a mom and a dad, then it's insipid, because not every child *has* a mom and a dad, and plenty even among those without both (or either) do fine.

    But if the argument is that every child needs to be given the best chance possible to do well, and if we have no objection to single parents, then it is hypocritical to suggest that same-sex parents are problematic, because their children have at least the same chance of doing well.

    I draw the conclusion that the assertion arises from homophobia rather than sense.

    Such statements make me feel burdened (a burden to explain the above to someone who doesn't want to hear it), and they make me feel pity. The burden leads to anger; the pity generally tempers that.
     
  17. ellyy

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    You can also think like this, what if children could only have same-sex parents but they would all grow up with the love and support that they needed. Would things be worse than they are now? I don't think so.
     
  18. RainbowGreen

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I grew up with a single mom.

    This argument is invalid.

    (Though, I saw my father a couple times a year. He's not out of the picture, but he didn't raise me.)
     
  19. Manitoban

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    I agree with you completely. I think as long as a child is getting a good degree of interaction from both genders it's perfectly fine. And honestly that will likely occur within the school system regardless. Many kids are raised perfectly fine with a single parent(many have trouble due to divorce as well yes) I don't see why two males or two females would be inherently negatively.

    This has been an issue I've been curious to research more... perhaps I'll do a research paper on it.

    Thanks for a research topic!
     
  20. TENNYSON

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    Re: "A baby needs both a mother & father in its life" How do you feel when you hear t

    One problem is that, due to society's view of same-sex parents, a child raised by them may come to resent them after being mocked by their peers and such and wish they had been raised in a "normal" family. In that case, I could see it as being negative, but it's not their fault.

    Otherwise, I don't necessarily think a child must have a male and female parent, but I don't see anything wrong with a male and female influence. If I had a child with another guy, I'd probably want there to be some female influence from somewhere.