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42 year old man with gender confusion

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Zardoz, Jun 22, 2022.

  1. Zardoz

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello everybody,

    I am a 42-year old gay man from the Netherlands. I suffer my whole life with confusion about my gender-identity and I hope to find a way to feel more comfortable with myself.

    I have been diagnosed and treated for several personality disorders: an avoidant personality disorder, an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and traits of borderline personality disorder. The treatment had a positive effect on me and very remarkable about that it also made me feel more comfortable with my masculinity. I will later explain in another topic more details about my situation, though I already want to say I've read a couple of stories from people here who struggle with similar self-doubts as me.

    It seems to me when it comes to sexual orientation or sexual identity many people unfortunately are preconcepted and behave defensive or even hostile towards people who just have other thoughts and opinions as them. For that it doesn't matter on which side they are. I assume that's a part of how mankind is and always has been and we all have to deal with that in our lives. However for my personal situation this keeps me remaining self-doubts which continu to spoil my life - I don't want to waste any more precious time of my life and I want to get more in touch with my true self. Despite the treatment for my mental problems in the past had a positive effect on my well-being the health-care system in my country considers my problems as being too complex, resulting in the chance of getting accepted for another treatment which probably can help me, is very slim.

    So I have to do it on another way and I hope to find inspiration here :slight_smile:
     
  2. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

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    Zardoz.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) :old_big_grin: when that becomes necessary! I'm so sorry that you have gone through so many problems. I haven't had the kind of problems that you've had, but I have had serious OCD, treated by medication and therapy so I can understand at least a little of what it means to deal with those types of issues. I really do hope that we can be of some help and comfort here on Empty Closets!

    *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Gender Identity and Expression”, there are people there who have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you.
    When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: :old_cool:

    *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership.

    *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! :old_rolleyes: If you have any questions at all, you can post a question on my Profile Page or send me a Private Message.

    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  3. PrettyBoyBlue

    Regular Member

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    Hi Zardoz, welcome to EC.

    I'm so glad to hear that you've been working through your other challenges.. I really hope that will help make things easier for you. It's hard working through several things at once, but it's great that you've come here to talk about this struggle. There are a lot of folks around who have gone through similar struggles, so I hope you'll be able to find the help you're looking for here.
     
  4. Prisma

    Full Member

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    Hi Zardoz!
    Welcome! I hope you find what you're looking for here