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42, married, and tortured by confusion...

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by MarkinThai, Oct 5, 2020.

?

Reading my post, what's your first intuitive thought?

Poll closed Oct 8, 2020.

  1. "This guy is likely gay, psychologically closeted, and should come on out!"

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%

  2. "This guy is confused, it's not clear he's gay, might just need to do more reflection.”

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%

  3. "It's impossible to say from that intro, but anyway welcome to EC!"

    5 vote(s)
    62.5%

  4. Something else entirely, and I'll say something in a reply to your post...

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%
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  1. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Interesting, never heard that term but it makes sense. I don't know if it's helpful for me personally in a deep way, but...I get it.
     
    #41 MarkinThai, Nov 20, 2020
  2. MarkinThai

    MarkinThai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'd like to confess something here. Use this forum as a confession space, I guess. Should I start with "forgive me, empty closet, for I have..."? No, nope. LOL.

    Anyway, I'm still like "hunting down" it feels like some sense of concreteness in my sexual self. Yeah, I'm bi really...it's hard to shake that, but also I kind of hate it and would push myself in one direction or other if I could.

    Confession time: last weekend on the same day I used ###### to find a guy in the afternoon and ###### to find a girl at night (wife was away all weekend). In my mind it was like an experiment.

    With the guy I blew him, got fingered, kissed, and he came on my face (sorry EC, so graphic!).
    With the girl I ate her out a lot and we fucked.

    I'd taken Viagra. I was just ON.

    In the end...I'd had a bunch of sex. Did it clarify whether my gayness or straightness was dominant or something? Nope. Still totally bi as I enjoyed both..Mainly it confirmed that there's a hot sex-sized hole in my marriage that I'm willing to go out and fill in somewhat brazen ways.
     
    #42 MarkinThai, Nov 20, 2020
  3. SGee

    SGee
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I feel
    I feel that pressure constantly these days. It all started with gay curiosity but now has developed into an intense attraction to men.
     
    #43 SGee, Nov 20, 2020
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