I am so confused! I know not all of you will know the full situation, but I need to vent. I have been told by plenty of people that my relationship shows signs of abuse. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve actually started contacting people about it, including a local DA support service. I had an assessment with them today and I scored really low, which I guess is a good thing. They said it sounded like a case of a relationship breakdown, but did advise me to leave as that’s what I want to do, and wished me all the best. I’m getting really mixed messages. A national DA support service suggested leaving and telling my partner afterwards, my therapist wants me to log stuff with the police, but the local service don’t seem to think it’s even abusive. I don’t know what to do as my next step. It felt like a really big thing to contact them, and now I feel like I shouldn’t have bothered.
It sounds to me like the therapist wants to be sure that there is a log in case the situation changes. That's understandable from the position of a therapist. They are going to advocate for filing a report because if something happened it would be bad for them professionally, never mind their personal feelings on the matter. Leaving seems like good advice to me. When it comes to your personal safety, it's best to error on the side of caution. You did the right thing by reporting it.
Thanks. I guess that does make sense from my therapists perspective. I’d not thought of that. I suppose I am going to leave, but HOW that happens depends on how my partner will take it. There are some things that I need to report and I’m sure he’ll take it very badly. So, I can’t decide whether to let him know what I’m planning or not.
Hi LostInDaydreams. I've read a few posts about your relationship, which showed you've been in a very difficult position. I admire your courage and wish you the very best in the choices you are making now. I'm posting now because there was an article in today's Guardian (5 February) that got my attention. The headline is "'I had no job, no savings. I knew he'd destroy me' - the women fighting against economic abuse". At some point, control becomes abuse, and I'm not sure how well outsiders can identify exactly where that happens. Good luck and take care.
