Just wondering

Sometimes it's almost impossible to know or find the goal without taking the journey first. It would be simpler if the goal was clear-cut, but life is seldomly that straightforward. Sometimes you just have to roughly pick the right direction and go for the sake of going. You'll get turned around often and have to read the map more than once. But you'll get there eventually. The finish line is different for everyone.

I used to have many random medical problems and mental issues. I tried listening to anyone and everyone to get better and went through so much research from other people. But at the end of the day it just made everything more complicated. Finally I got burnt out and shut everything else out to figure it out on my own. I picked my own direction and fixed myself. I did my own independent research by myself.

I used to have trouble with humor myself. I just forced myself to be as social as possible and really engage in conversations to gain experience. This allowed me to improve my social skills and humor by extension.

 

I never got the diagnosis I needed either but I took my health into my own hands and did what I had to get better and heal without medicine.

Sometimes dreams are always far away and will take time. It's overwhelming for me to, but I try to focus on the milestones along the way vs the faraway goal.

What also helped me was developing my own unique brand of humor that I thought was funny. I stopped caring about everyone else's standards. I have a wholesome dry sense of humor that I love but it's not always everyone's cup of tea. But at least no one gives me a hard time anymore for being too serious.

 

Well, not really. Especially with things sich as EDS or autism, it's not that useful in terms of communication. People are most often ready to help you out if you explain them in an understandable manner what your issue is and how they can help. E.g. : you need help with carrying heavy weights, you can't run, you can't eat this thing, you didn't understand that and want to ask a question, etc.

But if I'm guessing right, the issue is with the family, not strangers. In their case, you need to be firm about your boundaries - which is hard. But still the same rule applies, communicate clearly your problems and needs, hopefully that won't result in a conflict...

Have you talked to the therapist about it? Imo that can help a ton and is better than meds.

Looking up health issues online for sure can generate more stress than solve problems. I second Chillton about being in touch with your body and trying out different things and observing how it affects you. The internet somehow is built to enhance anxiety - it's an easy way to grab someone's attention.

Mental health is one bag of things. I want to focus on other health issues, though. Things like EDS, heart issues, immunity are often a constant source of difficulties, fatigue, etc. But they can get better with lifestyle and you can live with them. I have a friend who has Marfan's syndrome. He's doing fine, but he should avoid certain forms of physical activity, has crooked teeth, heart issues. It's tiring for him and he has to be cautious about some activities. A diagnosis is not something he shows anyone anyway or for what anyone asks, but it requires that he looks after himself and communicates what he needs to others.

 

Hmmm. I think actually both are good things to talk about to a therapist. The first issue, how to set boundaries in the specific situation that you're facing. Psychotherapists know lots of good methods to do it. I mean to take into account your limitations and other family members' limitations. The second one, to address your worries about emotional instability - it sometimes helps to talk about a problem directly rather than indirectly, this way it's easier to become at peace with it and to find comfort.

 

Hey I'm sorry you have all these health issues but glad you are able to see Drs. to get help. Maybe try to take a break from looking up stuff and going outside more is a great idea when you can. Getting close to nature is supposed to be good so seeing all the plants growing in Spring will be nice to see and smell.

 

Yes, I mean your psychologist, whoever you go to. I assumed she is a psychotherapist and what you do together is psychotherapy? But if it's consultations it's fine too. If you get along and you've been going to her for a longer time already, it's definitely going to be more helpful than anyone new who doesn't know you.

 

I'm sorry they did that and was not cool! Were you able to say how much you know about this and how her attitude sucks?

 

i graduated college with a BSN about 12 years ago. Prior to that, i was in a totally unrelated field of executive business management. i also ran a side business of flipping/restoring houses. i've been a doer my whole life, i have the weird notion i can do whatever i set my mind too.

Always been somewhat conscious about health, grow my own organic produce, 'natural' supplements for this or that. my medical education helped me understand something i didn't realize prior, and that's just how complex human physiology is. i've been a critical care nurse in a teaching hospital for 11 years, and i am always learning something new. Medical science is always learning something new.

The difference is, my education in anatomy, physiology, microbiology, pharmacology, etc., are all a foundation on which my healthcare practice is built. There are infinite numbers of variables that can affect a diagnosis and healthcare is a lot less exact and precise than culture has presented it.
For example, sepsis is a common disease process we treat in the hospital. We know the signs and symptoms, it's an emergent infection that has advanced to a stage that, if not treated, typically results in death. We have standard septic protocol: draw blood for cultures, also usually a urinary analysis (UA), rapid infusion of fluids for blood pressure drop that is one of the sepsis symptoms, start broad spectrum antibiotics (in that order). Thing is, we usually don't know what we're treating at that point, we just know the effect. i often explain to patients that we are killing an ant with an elephant gun. Blood cultures, if they show anything, take 24 to 48 hours to grow and result, but if we waited to treat until we have an exact diagnosis, most people would die. So, we hit them with antibiotics that pretty much kill everything, then when we get an actual diagnosis of cause, we refine the antibiotic to fit the pathogen. But much of the time, we are not able to pinpoint the cause or pathogen, the elephant gun just does its job.
And there's all sorts of complexities involved in that one protocol (and there are myriad protocols in medicine). For instance, most of my patients have several complex chronic co-morbidities (disease processes), like diabetes, kidney disease, lung disease, heart disease. Not unusual for them to have all of these. So, for instance, a patient comes in with sepsis, but also has heart failure. Giving that patient the fluid bolus they need can also kill them with fluid overload, or a kidney failure patient's kidneys may be harmed by the antibiotics needed to save them... most of the time, we are doing a complex balancing act like that.

my point is, there is rarely a simple diagnosis or a simple solution, and it's impossible to give a definitive answer and understanding to someone who doesn't have a complex education and experience to go with it. Even then, what we do, is best done as a team effort vs one person. i'm with my patient for 12 hours a day... the doctor sees them for 10-15 minutes. We are trained differently and do different things, but one doesn't work completely well without the other. Then there are also social workers, pharmacists, physical and occupational therapists, respiratory therapists, specialist doctors.

And patients/patient families come along and question our treatment because of something they saw on the internet. i go to great lengths to explain the disease process to my patients as part of their care, but i cannot give them the same understanding i have, they simply do not have the background, education or experience. And i am a firm believer that patients should be informed, so i am not against looking stuff up on the internet. i actually have sites that i refer patients to. It's really a matter of perspective. By all means, i want patients to get as educated as possible, but it's important to understand that their understanding is not equal to the person who has the education and experience. There is always going to be a trust factor, and it's not always warranted. i don't have the same kind of education that a pharmacist, doctor, physical therapists, etc., has, but we play on the same team and we have to trust each other for it to work.

i could go on, but this is reality. Medical professionals are flawed human beings working with incomplete knowledge about the infinite universe of the human body and mind. But, most are going to be better at treatment based on education and experience than someone without those qualifications.