Maybe it's time to begin again... and do it now in a proper way

Well, one week later... I'm not in touch anymore with the older guy. We didn't get angry or whatsoever... It's just we stopped talking. After our last coffee, when we talked about our plans for the future, and he told me he wanted to have kids, but I'm not into it, suddenly I felt that something was not going to work between us. And, since then... nothing. Neither a goodbye. I suppose we were just two adult people that had a nice chat, but under the surface of jokes and quotidian stuff lied what we really want to do. And I think he figured it out that I was not what he was looking for. Well... i don't know for sure. But, on my side, I don't feel like keeping in touch. Do you know that feeling, "I'm fine with you but there's something that doesn't fit and I'm not comfortable"? Well, that's it.

However, I'm still in touch with the younger guy. And I don't know where will it go. But for now we talk a lot, and that's fine for me. Let's keep this flowing...

 

It's been a while... What a month! I went back to my job, and then I felt strong again to be on a trip to Paris and a concert of one of my favourite bands. Half a year ago I thought i wouldn't be able to do this, to do this that make me happy... but here I am now.

And talking about those guys I was meeting... well, the older one began talking to me again some weeks ago. He asked me to "have a cup of coffee"... which I now it was not coffee at all hehehe But I couldn't, and next day he proposed me to go out to have dinner. We did... and that was all. And he was so kind, I felt so comfortable... but, when we drove me home, and we said goodbye... do you know that feeling of "it feels so good and safe with you here, and we both know we could say 'see you soon' now with a kiss... but I'm not in the mood"? Well, that was it. We said goodbye. And since then, nothing... no chat, no meetings... back to silence... I don't know how to understand this, but it doesn't bother me. I just let things flow.

With the younger guy I keep talking. He is quite fun, and although I'm not sure if I feel any kind of attraction towards him, it's quite nice to talk with him and meet just for that. I have no hurry nor pressure. If he ask me for more, well, we will see, but for now I like this, going step by step.