I came out of the closet!

This past June I came out to my sister and she immediately accepted me. She has been 100% helpful and it has meant the world to me. I'm so grateful to her and wouldn't be in such a good place now without her. We both agreed it would be best for me to come out to our mother first before I started to date. So she wouldn't hear it from some random acquaintance in our social circles gossiping about it out of context. We were not sure how she would take it and thought it could go either way honestly. If crazy drama were to happen it would be better to get it out of the way now instead of dumping that baggage on a future boyfriend in the middle of a relationship.

So I came out to my mother yesterday and my sister was there to support me. At first she was stun-locked into silence and said OK. She tried to form and ask a question but rapidly became terrified that she would say something wrong and I would abandon her and she wasn't sure what to say or do. I quickly reassured her that would never happen and she didn't need to say anything. I told her I just wanted her to know, and if she could accept this new revelation about me. She immediately said she would accept me no matter what and just wanted me to be happy. She didn't say too much else on the topic but that is OK honestly. I was emotional but kept it together, and we had a nice family bonding experience and life went back to normal afterwards. Throughout the day my mother reassured me she loved me and nothing was going to break up our family.

So I'm officially out of the closet and I don't care if anybody else knows. I won't go broadcasting it to the world, but if anybody happens to find out, then I won't deny it. Everyone will quickly connect the dots once I find a long term relationship. The only two people I care about are my mother and sister. If another family member or friend can't accept me. Then it's whatever, and it's on them.

Thank you to everyone here at EC for supporting me.

 

Since I came out 3 weeks ago, my quality of life has dramatically improved. It's surprising at how much of a positive difference it's made and it's caught me off guard. It's like a weight has been lifted and I never knew it was there to begin with. Or carrying a heavy box and the bottom falls out spilling the contents everywhere without warning, and you're like whoa what happened. I feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and personally twice as better than before. I don't even have suicidal thoughts anymore, and I can't remember a time I didn't have those feelings until now. Every day I feel like I have 2-4 extra hrs than I used to, because I guess that's how much time I spent stressed out each day.

It is all so overwhelming and sudden. I feel like I'm in sensory overload. It's not a bad feeling but it will take some time to adjust to my new normal. It's crazy and surreal.

 

I kind of always knew from a very young age, but I never explored my sexuality because I grew up in a very toxic environment and it would have jeopardized my safety. Later In college there was a trans woman in one of my classes. I was shocked she could live her life so authentically and boldly. I quickly became envious of her and other gay people on campus and I could no longer deny the feelings I had always buried deep down. I tried to come out in college as BI curious but everyone I talked to or approached either accused me of Ulterior motives or tried to take advantage of me. I never flirted with anyone. I just wanted help and to make a few friends. After that it set me back and really hurt me. It wasn't till late last year I was able to accept myself and come out of the closet.