Been reading through posts on here and it's helped me in a way

I guess I've been kinda doubting myself, and that hasn't changed lol, but as I've been reading through other's experiences I keep seeing things that make me go like "holy hell how did I not realize that"

The most obvious example is hating myself when I look in the mirror. For a long time I thought I was just not conventionally attractive, but according to a lot of people I'm actually pretty alright, so now I've been taking a long look at what I've been hating about myself and realizing that it's the "maleness" about it that really messes with me (especially that disgusting mess of nasty hair sprouting from my chin). And wearing shorts, for a long time I loved wearing them, but once my leg hair started to come in I felt disgusting whenever I looked at my legs, I guess I assumed it was your classic insecurity, but it just felt so *wrong*. Lately I haven't even wanted to take off my sweatshirt just because that means I have to look at my arms, and I'm seeing my dad in me more and more every day. I love him, but when I look at him I feel like I could never be him and be happy. Ever since puberty started I've hated my voice. It always gives me chills (in the bad way) and I actively avoid having to listen to recordings of my voice, because I have a decently deep voice and honestly want to just scream, except that would involve using my voice.

Honestly I'm kind of at a loss at how much I've been repressing and excusing for myself and how it's all come tumbling down. Mostly I'm wondering the small things people here have done to lessen the way they feel about themselves without making super drastic changes, as I'm not ready to consider coming out (mostly due to self doubt and needing more time to process things).

As an aside, I painted my nails last night and I have to say I love it, it makes looking at my hands slightly less stress inducing. I'm feeling ever so slightly less stressed out and merely feel like trash instead of garbage right now, which is an improvement :3.