My family are so supportive, and I am so lucky to have such an understanding wife. To explain. Tonight I am wearing a short length dress & panties. Together we are all watching a movie, me , my wife and children. I’m so lucky that it is ok that I can wear a dress, I’m so confused. I’m confused as to what direction to take. I know I like guys. I know I maybe transgender. These feelings are so hard to navigate. it’s like my head is going to to explode. All I want is a friend, someone who I can talk to. I also feel apologetic, like I shouldn’t be asking fo help,.,
You're allowed to feel grateful and still want more. They don't diminish each other. Even though you're in a good place, you can still work hard to achieve more than you already have. Greed and ambition are two different things. You're all good and try not to beat yourself up too much.
Thanks Clinton, I know your absolutely right, unfortunately sometimes I spiral into a depression. It’s hard not to. Due to the fact I’m not out to everybody I know, the guilt follows me and I do feel I should be honest and say that i feel like I’m a woman. It’s hard, all my life I’ve wanted to say the real me is the person walking down the high street wearing a dress, heels and carrying a handbag. A very feminine person. Saying this to my male friends, with whom the relationship has been very masculine, would be like saying goodbye? I feel like I’m letting people down. When I came out I felt like I let down my wife, I think she was disappointed I’m sure. Most days I’m able to navigate these issues but last night and today I’m struggling. So I’m home alone, I’m wearing a black top, short skirt, bra, panties and heels. This is me! I know if I had local trans friends their encouragement would help me walk out of the front door and say hi to the world as a woman. Sorry this feels more of a rant and feeling sorry for myself.
Like Chillton said, you can be greatful for what you have and still want more. It sounds like you would really benefit from talking with a counselor and figuring out if you really are transgender and helping you be your true authentic self.
I realise now how much I really do need counselling. I haven’t been on this forum very long, I’m that time I have come here and literally dumped all my emotions onto you guys. Reading through my posts I’ve realised I’ve poured out my heart here, you have been fantastic listening giving support and help. Thank you. This is a great place for us folks to share our stories in a safe space. I was afraid of revealing my true self to anybody, especially a stranger, I’ve kept this hidden for so many years. I was afraid that should I reveal who I really am to a councillor I might not like what they suggest. I was afraid of the conclusion. I may discover I’m straight, gay, transgender or anything in between. What I have realised is that the time is now for me. I shouldn’t be afraid and I’m looking forward to being my authentic self. Thank you.
Steff I have done counseling a few times. It is really helpful. You can even find LGBTQ+ friendly counselors online. I haven't tried the services but I have friends that have used the website BetterHelp and have had great success if nothing is offered in your local area or by your employer.
So I went to see my local Dr today and said I would like counselling, he asked what is the issue and I said sexual orientation, I was so nervous. He asked what’s the issue and I said I’ve come out to my wife that I’m attracted to men. And that I would like to discuss this with someone. He asked how my wife took my disclosure, and asked if I was aroused by women? I found answering that question to be very awkward for me to answer, but I told the truth and I said, no I don’t, I feel aroused when I think of, and look at men. So he said we can go for LGBTQ counselling, before we do first ask yourself do you now want to start living as a gay man? Seperate and move out? It all seems so difficult, this may be now the biggest upheaval of my life, and I’ve had a few. Thanks again for listening
I haven't replied earlier in this thread, but reading this I wanted to say that I think that you are very brave to do all this. Coming out to your wife, she accepting you and opening up to new possibilities... I feel that it's going to get better and better for you and you will be able to be yourself. Getting counselling is I think a good thing to do if you feel that going forward is too difficult. I'm sure it is, but given how greatly you've managed with everything before, I'm sure that you'll figure it out with time. No one is pressuring you, so take as much time as you need to think it through. I just wanted to say that you can do it and I wish you luck with everything from here. Thanks.
It takes courage to take the steps you have taken, to be honest with yourself, with your wife, coming out and seeking counselling, further support. You have done it all. This is something to be proud of.
Thanks so much for this support, having someone listen has been a tremendous relief. Yes going to the Dr yesterday and basically coming out there was very difficult, he reminded me that it’s ok, and this is a safe space and confidential. When I got home I told my wife, she was actually thrilled, she asked did I feel better for it, and I did, it was another weight off my mind. She asked did I go there for that purpose, no I said, I went there for another reason and while there thought the time is now to ask about counselling, he was very understanding, at the end of the session when I was on my way home it did feel nice, another step in my new journey.
