Butterflies and the thrill of the unknown

Couldn’t agree more, there is nothing sexier, more sensual and over the top erotic as two men making love. For me homosexuality is a wonderful gift I was finally able to open and embrace honestly.

 

I may be bisexual but still enjoy seeing men being intimate with eachother both sexauly and romantically

 

While this might not help you too much, I thought I’d share my own experience because I feel we’re very much in the same boat. I’d never considered that I could be gay bisexual until a few years ago (I’m in my 40’s). Since I was in my 20’s I’d had some curiosities towards men but didn’t think much of it. In secret, however, I masturbated to gay porn or stories sometimes. As I got into my 30’s this escalated somewhat and around 32 or so I stopped looking at women completely during my ‘alone times’. I still didn’t think that much of it but did start to wonder to myself why I do that? This is the crux for me, I was asking myself a question. It feels like there’s two different people. Over time I have made baby steps towards thinking I could possibly be gay although I still find that hard to accept. I notice women and think they’re beautiful. When it comes to sex though I just don’t feel anything and have had problems getting aroused with almost all of the women I’ve been with. I have had 3 experiences with men that were good but never moved on from that. Looking back over my life there have been signs that perhaps I was gay but not neon flashing light signs if that makes sense. I’ve come to accept that at the moment it’s hard for me to take much more of a step than accepting that I’m not entirely straight and may well be gay. I don’t know where I’m headed from here but I’m sure there will be something that happens that either confirms or negates my suspicion that I prefer men.

 

I remember those butterflies... and how I tried to deny them. But they grew stronger. I figured it out that it was just attraction to some guys because I wanted to be his friend. But, as it was not only interest but sexual attraction, I slowly accepted it... as a phase. In my mind, I had never any sexual interest to women, although the cultural idea of being married was firmly rooted in me. I used to explain my confussion with a fantasy: I was talking to a woman, a nice and warm chat, she had no face, I liked her... and then we kissed and went to the bedroom, but she was not a woman anymore, but a guy, and now he had a face, and in the bedroom my fantasy went free and wild with all the details. I couldn't believe that a guy could be also a romantic partner, for me it was only a sexual interest.

Then I met a guy and we became boyfriends. And then all my confussion disappeared. I instantly learnt with him that I could love him, that I had a lot of care and affection that could share with a guy. And what was more revealing for me, it was that when we were kissing, or huging, or caressing each other... I never thinked that I was doing that with a man, but because with the person that I loved. And then I finally knew that I was gay.

 

I can only base this opinion on my own experiences. But is the thought of being with a man the most beautiful pure thought on Earth? Does it feel so right it's unbelievable? Be honest with yourself What "parts" make you feel like this?

I'm not saying this is the same as you but I only admitted to myself I was gay a couple of months ago. The only thing that floats my boat are men. I mean on a purely sexual level