I have some freedom in some ways because I’m already separated from my ex husband. We were married 19 years and have 5 kids. I had a six year closeted relationship with my “best friend” that just ended brutally. I work in a field where my business would truly suffer if I came out publicly. Literally no one knows about my last relationship except her. Im working on figuring out who I am but I am so so lonely atm. anyone have an experience like this?
I'm sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time right now. Break-ups are never easy, but everyone here at EC is here for you. I know everything must feel overwhelming right now, but you don't have to tackle it all at once. You can work through it little by little everyday at your own pace. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover and heal. If you feel lonely then surround yourself with friends, family, your kids, and good people. In my experience, that is the best medicine that worked for me. There is no pressure to come out especially if you're not ready. If anyone asks you questions, as to why you might be upset, then just tell them you're dealing with some personal issues from your past and you are taking care of it. Just leave it at that. Every journey takes time to travel. If you need more support or guidance then let us know. We are here for you.
Plainjane.....I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position. I was a public school teacher and where I was publicly coming out would have been a disaster. I live in a small town and due to my position at school was very well known. It just would not have worked to come out. I didn't come out until I retired and even then only to some family and a few close friends. I still live in the same town and the repercussions would still be quite bad if the "word" got out. So I do understand that part of your dilemma. Fortunately for me, my wife has been accepting and we are staying together (long story there). Does your ex-husband know about your "best friend"? You mention children...how are they adjusting, or are they aware of your LGBTQ status? If you don't mind sharing...how old are the children? Kids today are amazingly flexible in situations like this and often surprise their parents at how well they adjust. I hope that you can find some encouragement and helpful suggestions here. I know that there are people here who have been through situations similar to yours. We are glad that you have found us here on EC! .....David
So so sorry you're in this position. It's not an easy one to be in either. I know from experience. I live in a small town filled with gossips, and I'm bisexual... I'm not out at all to anyone other than my husband, my two besties (who do not live in Canada), and the amazing people in here. I'm also an author, and although I'm better known in other parts of the world, just being known as bisexual in this town would be dangerous and yes, it could damage my career if people knew that "Author So and So" wasn't straight. (Someone drove around town recently with something symbolizing hate for anyone different than they are ultra visible and people were cheering them on) So like you, I'm in hiding... It's not easy hiding your true self but sometimes it's necessary. Does anyone else know your true sexuality? You definitely came to the right spot for support, understanding and more. I've only been here a few months and I feel at home here. I hope you do too. If you ever need to vent or just need someone to listen, feel free to write on my wall anytime.
No one knows except the woman I was with. We are no contact. I have to see her in town sometimes, it can be brutal. She attempted to take her life via overdose in front of me and my teen daughter also saw. It was pretty toxic once she gave up on treating her BPD.
