Hey, Can anyone suggest some tips for bottoming as I am scared of pain? I have lube, and some tips to relax (ie foreplay, breathing, imagery etc), but still not sure on position.
Aside from what you already said, talk to your partner and decide what is more comfortable for both of you. Choose a comfortable position and take it slow. Remember real life is different from porn where everyone is prepared all the time like robots. Start slow and don't be afraid to ask the other person to stop if you aren't feeling ok. If you feel pain, then stop, use plenty of lube (water based, as it won't damage condoms - these are obviously essential) and relax. Don't worry too much about it.
The top can use fingers to "loosen" or "stretch" your hole as they say, with lots of lube, then he should wash his hands. Have a towel down since lube gets everywhere and whatever else gets worked up in action. Some guys use their tongue and mouth to "loosen" your hole, but I can't imagine kissing a guy who has done that so you will have to decide. Hopefully you enjoy all this, it should not hurt more than a good bm, be safe!
I've ordered a vibrating prostate massager, the idea being as it vibrates it will relax me as opposed to a penis. Plus the toy is shaped better and not as big as some penises. I am still scared. :/
Just remember that, if we consider safe sex (and we should absolutely consider it), using your tongue that way presents a high risk of STD transmission, especially for the giver. I personally wouldn't recommend it unless you are in a long relationship with someone you trust and you both have been tested. By the way, this is a good time to remember condoms are essential. And that's why you should prefer using water based lube (plenty of it). Not only it will avoid pain and damage to your body, but water based lube will also not damage the condom.
Yikes and other pathogens too so no thanks, but lots of guys can't get enough of that and other unsafe sex, and they don't think anything about it, it's normalized and taught to others.
This is exactly why proper hygiene, protection and testing are all very important. It's sad how people disregard it all and not caring about each partners or their own health. This is why diseases and infections spread.
I was scared of the pain too, even though I really wanted to do it! Make sure you find a compatible partner, someone who will listen and work with you. I love bottoming but I won't just bottom with anyone. As others say, use lots of lube .Don't be afraid about having to put more lube on even after you get started. A condom is a must. I made it putting it on my partner as part of the foreplay. Positions are personal, but doggie is good for penetration and some control though being in that position can get tiring if you're not used to it. I love missionary but you really have to work with your partner. Have fun!
Anal is an incredible sexual experience if both are parties are on the same page. Communication adds to the erotic pleasure of both of you. My first experience was pain free and unbelievable. I had never been so sexually turned on in my life as I was then. The physical sensations were sensual erotic and intense. The emotional pleasure off the charts. Relax and enjoy.
Anal should not hurt if your partner goes slowly and you use plenty of lube. As others have said, you need to go slowly. Your partner should enter very gradually and stop every so often to allow you to adjust. Your partner can loosen you up with his fingers first and that will help. Also it may be worth using some small butt plugs first to stretch you a bit. Do have fun! It can be such an amazing experience.
Loosening up first with your fingers (I keep surgical gloves handy) or a sex toy. Condom and lube then applied. After that initially begin for a minute or two doggie style and we then go on to do it missionary style. Also doing it standing is quite good, firstly with your partner slightly bent over supporting themselves, say a dressing table, with your hands to the side of their hips open up their cheeks with your thumbs and slowly slide the penis in. And after a minute or two they can straighten up so you can do a bit of kissing etc while pumping them.
These are some great tips, I can't wait to try standing! It takes a little more experience and usually a pillow helps but I love 'bottoming' on top. The first time I bottomed, I tensed up when he first entered me. I had a great first time partner and he worked with me and he was slow. Psychologically, I almost think it was a last ditch denial attempt., and I then had a thought, "if you let this happen it's 'official' there is no turning back", it was a little scary but I had a feeling of almost submission or surrender to my feelings, a feeling like "YES I am gay andi t's beautiful" and a warm feeling went through my body, almost like a relaxant, and i eased up and then amazing pleasure started.
Again very similar experience. After an intense make out session I arrived at the moment when I both wanted and didn’t want to experience anal. I knew it was a watershed moment in my homosexual evolution. There would be no turning back in acknowledging I was gay. It was both exciting and scary at the same. My emotions were on fire with doubt until a moment of clarity made me realize this is what I wanted more than anything. After a somewhat clumsy start I became a gay man that night. The physical and emotional pleasure was incredible intense. The connection to another man was both literal and physical with pleasure sensation far beyond anything I ever experienced with a woman. There was no going back and I had no interest in doing so.
