So. I've decided to get therapy/counselling properly. I'm from the UK and been on he NHS and there's basically long waits for very little and no real choices, so I've had varied success. And I can now afford, somewhat to pay for it for the first time. But I'm kind of terrified. I'm not sure how to go about it, what to look for. Encourage me, please! Or any advice would be appreciated! I'm kind of bricking it.
One thing I suggest is to go in open minded and be honest about what you wish from the outcome of it all and don't keep things you wish to work on to yourself. Therapist are professionals and they're there to help. You may not always like all the answers or it may seem like not for you, but give it all time and a chance.
Thank you. Yeah, I'm really trying to. I know the things I'm scared to talk about are probably what I need to. But I'm also worried that I'm expecting something that counselling can't do. There's just so much information online, it's a little overwhelming. I don't know what kind of therapy will be right for me, and I'm scared about finding the right person. I know I'm not in a good place though and need to do something.
It is overwhelming, but you're already doing a good thing for yourself about even starting therapy. One step at a time. Other things will come up once you actually start therapy. I remember I was terrified about talking lgbt+ topics, but once it seemed like it was safe to talk about it, then I became bolder and the words just flew out. At first I was really unsure what to even talk about and some things I just wrote down and handed the note to my psychiatrist, because I was too afraid.
First things first, in the UK, believe it or not, there is absolutely no regulation on calling oneself a psychotherapist or counselor, so anyone can put up a website or get some business cards and claim they're a therapist. So you want to make sure that the person you are seeing has at least a master's degree, from a credible, recognized university you've heard of. I am personally biased toward clinical social workers; these are social workers specially trained in doing therapy. They have a much broader view of the individual, and the enviornment they exist in, that helps gain a more complete picture of what's going on. But honestly, there are plenty of excellent masters-level psychotherapists. In the US, they are Marriage and Family Therapists or Licensed Professional Counselors. Not sure what the UK equivalent is. Don't be afraid to ask about training, experience, and clinical approach. You probably want someone who is psychodynamic or insight-based; these are folks who wil help you understand why you are thinking and behaving in the way you do. There are people who specialize in CBT, and that's a very useful approach, but it is 100% focused on "what is this behavior, and how can I make it stop." It does not address underlying issues that *cause* the problem... and so, often, the problem keeps showing up. If there is significant trauma, someone with Brainspotting (probably rare in the UK) or EMDR training will be helpful in getting to and resolving the trauma. This is a courageous thing to do, and most people are scared when they start therapy. But honestly, with the right therapist, it's like talking to someone you trust and feel is hearing you... and it starts to feel natural very quickly.
If you are looking for a therapist in the UK, I highly recommend visiting the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy website and searching their register of accredited professionals in your area, including searching by specialism. Here is a link: | BACP It's really important to use a website like the BACP to ensure you are working with someone who has undertaken proper training and accreditation, as anyone can call themselves a counsellor and set up in private practice. In all honesty, I think it's better to pay for good therapy than go through the NHS. I love the NHS, but when it comes to therapy it really is a take it or leave it scenario. You have to wait many weeks or months for a referral and you don't get to choose who you work with either. It's often time limited too, which puts the patient/client and therapist under huge pressure from the outset and that's not a good way to proceed. I have been for therapy and I can honestly say it's one of the best things I have ever done. I learned so much about myself and it felt like I was unburdening a lot of buried hurt and pain and gaining useful knowledge about what makes me tick. Don't get me wrong, it's hard work and it can be emotional, but when you are talking with a therapist who you really like and trust it feels safe. Don't be afraid to tell the therapist about your fears from the outset.
