As a gay man what arouses you?

Nut

 

*it should say But. But ocd can make all such things happen. Even lack of arousal. And such. Ocd can make you lack attraction to your prefered sex.

 

In fairness Louis is discussing these issues with a professional.

 

I have ocd myself. I am in therapy myself. I just want to say that ocd can do all such weird things to you even arousal or lack of arousal. Maybe I shouldnt be on here because I feel awful Reading all those stories. Not because of you. But because I feel awful knowing people have the same experience as me and label Themself and lesbian/gay while I label myself as bi. It makes me doubt myself and feel like I am lesbian then.

 

What I am doing here is that I am afraid I am not bi and dont have HOCD and I am a lesbian in denial. But it clearly make me feel worse being here

 

That worries me a bit about my current situation

 

Anon, don't let my situation worry you. We all have our stories and what I've gone through may not have any bearing on your situation. I've always had some level of same sex attraction. In fact i had a crush on another boy before I was in jr. high school. It's just that my unique circumstances made it difficult to accept myself and later no longer possible to deny my homosexuality.

All of our experiences are unique to us as individuals and one's experience should not be applied as evidence to determine another's. Until I became a member here I had no idea how pervasive HOCD is. I can only imagine how much turmoil and pain that it causes. Spending many years in the closet has been painful enough for me but I think those with HOCD may have it even worse. Is it worse to suppress your true sexuality or is it worse to be living your true sexuality but fearing that you are another? That sounds like a Shakespearian question.

 

My first post on EC. What arouses me ? I don't know how unique this is but (a) Primarily feminine men/gay Cross dressers, (b) Secondary what is known as a Twink i.e. slim, submissive, no body hair man in his early 20s (I'm quite masculine, into weight training etc). It took me a long but gradual time to realise I was gay, starting with chat rooms and porn, first sexual experience was with a transgendered escort, first time I did anal and sucked a penis and I couldn't deny I enjoyed it better than I thought. Moved on to meeting up through social media with a few feminine gay crossdressers and Twinks until I met a femme gay who I am with now in a hot relationship.

I am not into men in general which is why I think it took me longer and gradual to realise I am gay, but femme gay men do it for me. As I always say, you can't hide your sexual orientation in the bedroom. I equate my relationship with femme gay men as similar to that of a femme and butch lesbian. I have come out to a few male and female gay friends. I'm totally comfortable about being gay, but I wish to keep my private life private. My partner works in the theatre business which is very accepting and is openly gay. I'm in the closet and he has no problem with that (yet ?). We meet up for a coffee or a walk together once or twice a week and maybe a kiss and cuddle in the car, while our sex life happens in hotels known to be gay friendly, or his home sometimes though it is a long distance from Dublin. As I stated I'm totally comfortable being gay, glad of it as I could never establish the same type of connection with a female though I tried. Like I said, I like to keep my private life private.

 

As a gay man men tend to arouse me

 

Please do yourself a favor and only talk with your therapist. I don’t know you but I know that being online on Forums while you may or may not have ocd (which is Sounds like you do) Will only lead to pain and more suffering in your questioning. I say this as someone who now are suicidal and in pain because of endless searching for answer for my ocd. For your own good wait till you are sure of your ocd before posting here.

 

I'm worried be because I can remember kissing a friend of mine in like 1st or second grade. Also, I seem to get aroused by penises at least in porn and I think it's been like that unknowingly for awhile if not the whole time.

 

Sounds like you are gay to me. Don't know how you can explore your feelings more, it's probably a journey of self discovery. Try some the Kinsey test on sexuality or online quizzes which may help you.

 

‍♀️

 

Hmmm, but why would I also chase after girls and want relationships and kids with them? Also I really enjoyed a lap dance I got. Would this make me bi then maybe? I'm confused

 

Yes, if you can get turned on by women as a guy then you can't be gay. At least bi.

 

Trust and knowing one another; similar life story and sexual aspiration.