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I'm still not ok, getting even worse actually

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TinyWerewolf, Feb 9, 2023.

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  1. Rayland

    Rayland
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    Hopefully you get the opportunity to work full time. Maybe it's somehow possible to get government housing at least for temporarily, so you won't become homeless? or when you do, then you can try and get to the the lgbt+ center and see how they can help you, when you're actually out of there. Not all hope is lost. You got this.

    And warmest hugs your way. I know things for you are tough right now, but there will be new opportunities to come.
     
    #21 Rayland, Apr 19, 2023
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  2. Wanderlost

    Wanderlost
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    I'm so sorry that you have had a setback with the full time position. My advice, keep pushing. There is something about tenacity and not giving up that creates opportunity. That Luck saying, "Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity." Don't let a setback cause you to give up. We conquer mountains one step at a time. It's not a heli ride to the summit, It's a fucking slog. Embrace the challenge and the pain of it. There is a sublime summit waiting for you to experience. "Keep coping, keep going," make it a mantra you live by. Focus on the main thing, to become independent as a means to escape your current environment. If you want to brainstorm ideas, talk, or whatever, feel free to reach out with a PM if you want. *hugs*
     
    #22 Wanderlost, Apr 19, 2023
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2023
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  3. chicodeoro

    chicodeoro
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    It's a setback, Jack. But only a temporary one. As Wanderlost said, keep going, don't give up. We're all here behind you, cheering you on. You will get there.

    Will Pm you tomorrow.

    Big hugs, Beth xxx
     
    #23 chicodeoro, Apr 19, 2023
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  4. TinyWerewolf

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    Another update:

    I've reached out to my cousin with help from a friend, I just hope they contact me. I'm also stockpiling cash in a spot to make a bank account finally. I'm not at the right amount yet, but slowly I'm getting there. However a position had opened up at another locationin my company, it would be an hour drive from home. This position was filled in the time I was debating applying, however. Things have also become riskier here at home, thanks to trying to hang out with a trans friend that my parents don't like and then attempting to lie about it (because I was trying to protect said friend and myself).

    So here I am, at midnight, once again stuck listening to the garbage pit of bias against trans people and the community at large that is dubbed Newsmax. I find the sentiments my mom has towards me seeping in tonight, being sleep deprived this past week has worn down my already battered armor. And there has been no safe haven such as therapy in sight
     
    #24 TinyWerewolf, Jun 26, 2023
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  5. Cinnamoon

    Cinnamoon
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    Right first things first NEVER debate applying for anything. Apply, you can always reject it later. If you hesitate for a second when considering any other job, this will happen again. Just go for it.

    As for therapy and the things that are out of your control, it's horrendous I know. But please keep going and learn from this.

    Whenever a new job comes up that will give you the chance to be independent, just jump.

    Apply apply apply, reject later.

    Don't wait.
     
    #25 Cinnamoon, Jun 27, 2023
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  6. chicodeoro

    chicodeoro
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    Stay strong, Jack. We're all here for you. Cinnamoon is right - doesn't matter where the job is, just apply.

    Fingers crossed your cousin gets back to you soon!

    Big big hugs, my brother,

    Beth xxx
     
    #26 chicodeoro, Jun 27, 2023
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  7. Rayland

    Rayland
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    You got this. You're stronger than ever and were all here for you little brother. Warmest hugs. Keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well.
     
    #27 Rayland, Jun 27, 2023
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  8. TinyWerewolf

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    I did eventually come to this conclusion, I was going to apply this week. The problem was going to be the virtual interview part, I've done one before but had to use my mom's phone. I hate doing that, and then she would know I was applying. Then there would be the tricky part of the in person interview at a place an hour away. Regardless I'd finally worked up the courage to apply and I find it's filled. I'm just dumb and extremely overthink things.

    I guess I'm kind of new to this whole being an adult with choices? I hope that makes sense. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that I get to choose my life and that I'm "a grown-up" now. It seems so bizzare to me, and at the same time I feel I never got to live. I didn't go to parties in high school, I only went to one in college and my parents followed me to that one. It's almost like I don't know what to do with myself, and then I overthink everything. I hope that kind of makes sense, this is something I find hard to describe.

    I hope they do too, it's a bit of a shot in the dark. I tried this like a year or two ago with another friend through another platform, and they never even saw it according to the platform.

    Big hugs to you too, Beth :slight_smile:

    I think I'm losing said strength, I feel like I'm going through the motions. I'm glad you're all here though, thank you. ❤️

    Big hugs for you too, Rain
     
    #28 TinyWerewolf, Jun 27, 2023
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  9. Wanderlost

    Wanderlost
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    I don't really know what to add that others haven't already added, but I can give you a hug. *hugs* Be patient, hang in there, stay strong, and stick to the plan.
     
    #29 Wanderlost, Jun 27, 2023
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  10. DragonChaser

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    We talk pretty much every single day, but I still don't want to waste a second in telling you I love you to the moon and back, you're a sweet, bright, wonderful person with a HUGE heart and A TON to offer! I know how amazing and happy your future is going to be, and it's waiting out there! For both of us!

    I want to give you a hug with every scrap of my heart and soul! You are my favorite person, and I am a better person just from having known you! Please, don't ever give up! I know I tell you that all the time, but remember it here, written down, for everyone to see! Come back and look again if you have to!

    Never give up!

    I believe in, adore, love, care, need, and appreciate you, little brother! I'm so glad I know you, and I'm so proud of you for being so strong! Hang in there! We're going to make it, and we're never looking back! :heart:
     
    #30 DragonChaser, Jun 27, 2023
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  11. chicodeoro

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    You are an adult. The problem is your abusive parents are treating you like a small child.

    What she said!

    And when you finally finally get free, myself and Lydia and Rain and all of your EC friends are going raise our glasses and toast you, Jack. I am SOOOO looking forward to that day.

    Stay strong, my brother.

    Your London sister,
    Beth xxx
     
    #31 chicodeoro, Jun 27, 2023
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  12. Jakebusman

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    Stay Strong Jack
     
    #32 Jakebusman, Jun 28, 2023
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  13. TinyWerewolf

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    Y'all ever have days where you think, "Gah, I wish I could be cisgender!!", anyone? For me today is one of those...
     
    #33 TinyWerewolf, Jul 6, 2023
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  14. Rayland

    Rayland
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    Hugs. This is something I think every single day, so you're not alone there.
     
    #34 Rayland, Jul 7, 2023
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  15. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    *big hugs for my big bro*
     
    #35 TinyWerewolf, Jul 7, 2023
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  16. DragonChaser

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    I wish I was just born into the body I wanted. I wish you were, too. I wish we all were, to be honest, and maybe someday people can arrange that. Whatever you're born with is not what you have to live with, in some far-flung future. For right now, though, there are still options and - so long as we live - we still have opportunities.

    I know that's not hugely comforting, but it's worth remembering when you feel like you'll never make peace with the body you're in. We're a work-in-progress, even cisgendered straight people, and nobody is completely satisfied, yet better is possible for every one of us in almost every thing.

    What's more, I promise I'm going to be there, every single step of the way! I love you to the moon and back, and I'm proud to be your sister! :heart:
     
    #36 DragonChaser, Jul 7, 2023
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  17. chicodeoro

    chicodeoro
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    Sometimes. I often look at cis women, envy their curves and hate hate hate what I still have down below in my own body.

    BUT...cis folk will never experience the euphoria that we have felt. And the sweet feeling - after decades of denial - of finally being the right gender, free of shame, at ease with yourself at long long last.

    Beth xxx
     
    #37 chicodeoro, Jul 7, 2023
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  18. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    You're right about that, it's not all bad being trans. I did meet several wonderful people here because of it. For me, I think the sentiment is a double edged sword, part dysphoria and part knowing my family would treat me entirely differently if I were born a man outwardly. I'm not doing the best this week, I actually took a precision file to my arm and scratched it up. I'm starting to get more depressed in here
     
    #38 TinyWerewolf, Jul 8, 2023
  19. mnguy

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    Hey man, I'm really sorry you had a tough week and feeling more depressed. Is there anything you want to talk about? Do you workout, bike, run, walk, etc? I have not been doing much activity and have been pretty down too so today I decided I will go for a bike ride and do some chores around here to be more active. It is nice outside where I am so that helps too. Keep talking with us and doing what you can when you can :hugging:
     
    #39 mnguy, Jul 8, 2023
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  20. Silvermoon55

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    How are you doing?
     
    #40 Silvermoon55, Jul 18, 2023
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