Hi, I am really needing some help and would be grateful for any replies as I am crippled by this. i have being diagnosed with ocd of a sexual orientation nature as this destroyed my life with my girlfriend. I have been told by therapists I am not gay or even bisexual and that I have severe ocd. I do a lot of rituals, compulsions, ruminating and experience very graphic thoughts of having sex with men. I kiss walls, bend iver and imagine gay sex. I watch gay porn to find this dislike and disgust in it but it never comes anymore. everytime I watch it feel I want it. I get no disgust in the thought of kissing a man which is why I kiss walls all the time. I am just so confused as my therapist said I am not gay or bisexual but then I read you can have HOcD/sexual orientation ocd and realise this is true and in fact gay. please help me as your replies would be very grateful
I am by no means an expert in this but as you’ve stated you’ve been diagnosed as having OCD so one would imagine this is just the OCD running its course. I’m sorry to hear it’s had so an impact on your life. Unless there is some very real arousal associated with these thoughts or your porn viewing that you’re not admitting to I’d speak to your therapist about how to avoid/react when encountering triggers, how to navigate intrusive thoughts, and how to avoid testing. However, you should know that porn is not a sure fire answer to questions about sexual orientation. Perhaps medication is in order.
You might want to reach out to Chip about this since he knows a lot about OCD and how it effects your thought patterns. I have a feeling that your therapist is at least partially right. I think you need to have your OCD treated and under control before you can really address or answer the questions about orientation. I wish you luck and hope you get the answers you need.
You need medication to manage your OCD. It is severe, you have been ruminating about it for years, and as near as I can remember, you are not currently medicated for it. Until you get on medication, you will continue to be miserable. Please get help. You deserve better.
Hi, Thank you for the reply. When you say my therapist is partially right what do you mean? it’s just my therapist says this is ocd and I am not gay or bisexual but from your replies are you saying I could get this under control and realise I am gay or bisexual as no therapist has ever told me this
Hi Chip, yes I am on setraline and aprizole as medication. I am so confused by some of the replies I have seen where it says I can’t answer the question about my orientation until I get the ocd under control so are they saying I could realise I am gay or bisexual as all the therapists say I will realise I am straight.
Hi, Thanks for the reply. when you say real arousal do you mean an erection as I have never had an erection from looking at gay porn. I look at the Gay porn apparently as a compulsion to chase this disgust which never comes. you mention about my porn viewing but I have never masturbated to gay porn of even had an erection from it. so when you say porn viewing I am not been truthful with I have watched gay porn a lot to find this dislike in it and waiting for it to click on my head that I am not gay.
Get help from an OCD specialist. No amount of analyzing it all here will do you any good, if you don't work on yourself. No therapist will tell you that you are gay or bi or not and none of us here will either. You will figure this one out yourself. OCD is what keeps you obsessed with these thoughts.
Thank you so much for your reply. it’s just chip and others have said that I am not gay or bisexual and this is ocd. but my therapist have told me I am not gay or bisexual and that I suffer with ocd over sexual orientation. So why have people told me on here I am not gay or bisexual then and just suffer with ocd. so are you saying I could have ocd and actually be gay or bisexual. I am so confused and broken
You can be bi or gay. This is what OCD don't cause, but OCD causes you more confusion and being obsessed and testing. There are people who know are gay, but they also have OCD, but the OCD is under control and they're living normal lives. This is where OCD specialist and medication helps. It helps to get your OCD under control.
I am so confused. but my therapist said sexual orientation ocd doesn’t change someone’s sexuality. they said I am not gay or bisexual and just suffer with what they call ocd about sexual orientation. Are just saying there are gay and bisexual people that suffer with ocd like light switching, counting things, cleaning and contamination etc. Or are you saying I can have sexual orientation ocd and realise I am gay or bisexual. really struggling to follow. How do I private message you
I will PM you. It is very confusing, but the main thing is to deal with that OCD and go to a real OCD specialist, who can help you more to understand this.
Only you can know if you are straight or gay. Therapist can help you to find the truth but can't tell you what is your sexual orientation.
Ugh. But therapists can diagnose OCD, which this person has. And OCD, when there is a focus on sexual orientation, can completely mess with people's sense of self and sexual orientation. You have already been warned in another thread about posting on topics you do not understand. Please refrain from commenting on threads where people have CD or OCD-like symptoms. Your posts will actively harm people.
Please does anyone have any responses as I am really struggling and feel absolutely suicidal at the moment as can’t stop crying. does this ocd mean I am not gay or bisexual as I constantly think of gay sex and it doesn’t disgust me
I'm sorry you are feeling like this hugs, but yes this all is OCD and you are not bi or gay. Only seeing a specialist can help you control it, so please for your own sake see a specialist and therapist too.
You already have your answer, from TWO people who are licensed professionals and who evaluated you and gave you an accurate assessment. I know that the nature of OCD is such that no matter of factual information will help you quell the intrusive thoughts, but also know that asking random people on a message board (including one who is completely full of shit and giving you bad advice) is not going to help you solve your problem. PLEASE see your psychiatrist and either get back on medication, or if you are currently on it, get it adjusted. There are also therapists experienced with OCD who can treat it pretty effectively, but you need to find one who is a *specialist* in OCD. You don't deserve this constant misery. Please get help.
