Hi, so I’ve more recently figured out that I’m a lesbian. But I’m having a hard time accepting this is who I am. I know people say find support groups to help you, but I don’t do well with making friends, I maybe have 3 friends i consider my friends. Any tips on to help me on how to get through this journey. I know people say it gets easier to accept over time & once I make the moves to be who I am, I’m just sad right now.
For me it was very difficult to accept for years to the point where I identified as bisexual for many years but I also experienced compulsory heterosexuality. Sadly I can’t offer any advice other than it does get easier over time but I do completely understand where you’re coming from. If you would like to talk, I would be more than happy to help you through your journey. My name is Loz
Risssdanooo.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBT folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. There are a lot of people here that you could find as friends, because there are many people here who have dealt with things that are probably similar to what you have had to deal with. I hope you can connect with them soon! Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. .....David
It takes a bit if time to figure out where you fit in, and I think that is normal.. al of us go through it, in some or other way, so know you will get there.. Xfem is right, lot of help available, and I think EC is a great place to start if you are not comfortable with public groups as its safe and anonymous, so it gives you freedom to express yourself in positive ways. Can I ask why the sadness? Frequently we see the difficult part, especially in ourselves. One thing is not to be to hard on yourself, take your time, your own pace...and if you are not there yet, that is fine and feel safe. Support groups are great.. some peeps here have joined and they they felt that it was a great experience. But it all depends on you situation.. I am not fully out, incognito so to say, so yes, I would probably never be able to do that, but it depends on our individual situations and needs. Most importantly, be safe. Be comfortable with what you share, and not share. Once you start, you would see that it becomes easier, to a point that it seems natural and normal for you to talk about how you feel and experience your journey, as it becomes part of you.
Hi @Risssdanooo, welcome to EC. I think joining EC is a great place to start. I had trouble finding a group or people to talk with IRL as well, but another user on here suggested that I make Empty Closets my home, and I'm glad I did! I think one of the best things about being online, about being anonymous, is that it's like it's own little "do over" or makeover. You are free to be who you want to be, talk about what's bothering you, all without any pressure. (It's one of the best feelings ever, in my opinion.) I know you're very sad, and a lot of us started here at very sad moments, but I hope one day you'll eventually find this freedom too! -PBB
Hi there! Nice to meet you. You’re def not the only lesbian on here for sure. (I myself am between the labels of lesbian and bi at the moment.) You are more than welcome here!
I agree with EC being a great place to start. I also felt like you when I first figured out my sexuality. It was like I realised I liked girls but I didn’t know how to be a lesbian. It was as if it should have come with an introduction guide or a manual. For a while I just chatted to people on EC. Everyone here is super friendly and it made me feel much more comfortable with who I was. If you ever want to chat feel free to post on my profile.
Hi and welcome this is not an uncommon phase to go through. This is from another thread but helpful: "the five stages of grief hypothesised by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. When coming to terms with a tragic or unfortunate [or unexpected] circumstance, many people to through the following stages, in no particular order." 1. DENIAL 2. ANGER 3. BARGAINING 4. DEPRESSION 5. ACCEPTANCE This was written for parents/family but some people have found it helpful https://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out/parentfamily-stages-of-grief.php @Risssdanooo this is great advice:
Hey! Personally, i think that coming out to yourself is the hardest part of coming out. I'm lesbian myself and experienced (and are actually still experiencing) this too. It can be RELLY hard and there are time when you feel like your the only lesbian in an ocean of heterosexual. I'd say this chat room is first and big step to accepting yourself. Also, give yourself some time. If you don't feel ready to gi to a support group, than don't. You should be confident with yourself before you tell others about your orientation. I highly apologize for the bad english, the grammar and spelling mistakes. Hopefully this helped you. Don't loose your courage, your not alone and to be lesbian is a beautiful thing.
Lots of great advice and support. Welcome to EC. Hope you find your home here like so many of us have. Your sadness is okay - right. Your losing something and gaining something at the same time. But that creates some level if dissonance whether we like or or not. I felt the same way when I signed up here and here I am feeling pretty good most of the time about who and what I am and what that means. Hang around you’ll find the answers and support you need. Glad to help in any way I can.
Apple tree - love your name. I see your new too. Hope your finding your way. Let me know If I can help in any way.
Hey and thanks for the compliment! I recently planted an apple tree, that's where the name comes from. I'm fine at the moment, but if you've any advice what to do if you've a crush on you best friend, i'd love to hear it. Posted the question like yesterday on "Family,Friends&Relationships"
