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How can I help..

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by B1lat3ral, Mar 15, 2023.

  1. B1lat3ral

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    Great about the support group. For me its just my therapist.. I am on a very short leash.

    Last night watched a movie.. not a great one.. but was something to watch. It did hit home though, with my current situation and the kids.
    The moral of the story was, trying to live your life through your kids. With me not being 100% out, am I trying to support them in the wrong direction? Maybe, just maybe I am projecting some of my own issues on them.

    Maybe just being there when they need me is the best option.. let them learn from their mistakes and experience life.. the good and the bad... all I can do is, give them all the opportunity, support, a healthy open environment where they can be themselves and be there for them.
     
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  2. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there, I'm wondering if you are trying a bit too hard. It's absolutely wonderful that you want to be there for your children and want to make things easier for them.

    At the end of the day, and as you mentioned, it is also okay to let them make mistakes, learn from them. I can imagine it being incredibly hard to find a balance but it looks like you are getting closer to finding one that works for you. Being there for them and creating the environment for them to feel safe in coming to you with anything that is on their mind, supporting them, is all you can do. :slight_smile:
     
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  3. mnguy

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    It could be why it hit you in the feels that you're not out and don't want your kid to feel stuck too. Learning from mistakes has a place perhaps, but we humans have also advanced best I think when we share important information. Each generation doesn't have to reinvent the wheel and suffer not having wheels again. Especially when it comes to matters of mental health and LGBTQ+ issues that have so much horrible information circulating about them. It's critical to be proactive in making sure people, especially kids have the accurate information and can ask any questions w/o shame or judgement. What mistakes do you want your kid to learn the hard way? Pretty sure they're still going to have ups and downs in life to experience and I hope they feel free to share it with you, for advice or just to know they're always loved. How openly could you talk with your parents when growing up and today, if they're still around?
     
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