Hi: A little more than a year ago I joined this forum. At the time, I had just turned 60. I was divorced with two young adult daughters and working in a high profile job with a well known religious organization. I had absolutely no experience in the LGBTQ+ community. I was absolutely clueless and as deep in the closet as you can get. I could barely acknowledge my sexuality even to myself, let alone share it with anyone else. But thanks to the kind and supportive people on this site, I found a safe space to share my heart and my deep fears. What I received here was love, support, encouragement, and acceptance. I learned that I am not alone, even at 60. Today, I am in an amazing committed loving relationship with another 60+ man. Like me, divorced with two kids. We are so happy together that words can not describe our joy. We both feel like we won the lottery. Everyone important to me knows about my life. My family, friends and co-workers have shown me love, support, and enthusiastic acceptance. When I find myself holding hands in public with my guy, I can not believe it was only a little more than a year ago when I was almost too scared to set up an anonymous account on this site. Here are a few things I have learned in the past year. First, it is never too late to be your authentic self. I understand the terror of gambling with the loss of every relationship you've built. The paralyzing fear of entering an uncertain future in a world you may have absolutely no knowledge of. What pushed me to come out was an even greater fear of never knowing what it would be like to live as a fully expressed person. Life is too short for regret. Second, if you are a good person and have built a community of loving supportive people around you, trust that they will continue to love you even more when you fully share who you are. True, there are no guarantees, but honestly you are better off letting go of anyone who does not love you for who you are. Third, listen to the advice of others on this site. Come out at your own pace. You have a right to privacy like everyone else. I came out very slowly at first. Please find a gay or allied therapist you trust. It was so helpful having a therapist who could explain what I was experiencing in my journey. Someone I could ask any question or share any feeling. Finally, believe you will find love. You are not alone. There are thousands just like you who also want what you want When you are ready, put yourself out there. I found my partner on a dating site. It took many dates to find the love of my life. Just know there is a caring person who is looking for someone like you. It takes patience, persistence, and risking being vulnerable. But it is SO worth it. I hope my story brings you hope. Everyone deserves happiness. Just keep the faith. And thank you to the wonderful people on this site who have supported me in my journey.
This post is so heartwarming. I’m so pleased you found the happiness you truly deserve and are able to live as your true self. Congratulations!
Cornersky, thanks for such a positive uplifting post. So happy you are able to embrace who you really are without reservations, guilt or second guessing other people’s reactions to your homosexuality. You and your partner just continue to prove that you can live a happy , well adjusted satisfied life as gay men. The world’s view of same sex attraction is slowly changing as more and more of us embrace our homosexuality openly and proudly. Gay is fantastic!
It’s so exciting to come across someone closer to my age. I am in my 70’s and have to crushed my true self for so long it’s frightening. I had brain surgery back in July and since, it has turned my consciousness upside down. I worked so hard for so long to keep the Bi-Me stuffed away and hidden. Would occasionally have a 1-time relationship with a man. I would immediately make it clear there would be no followup, so I could return to my Texas Macho Bullshit self. I just can’t do it anymore. Trying to figure how to come out to a world that seems to have left me behind. That’s not the way it really is, but it sure feels that way. I’m making progress slowly now. Been seeing a therapist for a while and will start going to a support in the next few days. I keep thinking, is there some way to do this that won’t leave me ostracized by those I love and care about. Grrrr!
Forgot to say, I really appreciated your comment. “But thanks to the kind and supportive people on this site, I found a safe space to share my heart and my deep fears. What I received here was love, support, encouragement, and acceptance. I learned that I am not alone, even at 60.” Be well!
Cornersky, such a positive message. Everyone should be free to express and live as their authentic self and you have clearly succeeded. I entirely agree that everyone needs to come out at their own pace. Ultimately being honest and open with those closest to you is the best way forward. Wish you all the best!
This is such a great post. I'm so glad you've not only gotten the help you needed here on EC, but that you've made such enormous strides in the year since. It's absolutely incredible that not only have you come to accept yourself, you've gone on to have a wonderful, open and loving relationship with someone else. So, so happy for you, and I hope you continue to embrace and love who you are along your journey.
You are definitely in the right place Shy. Hang in there and ‘keep coming back’ as they say. You an see my old AA lingo coming to the forefront. Stay around the inspiration will soon be what you give to others that makes it work.
