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Okay, so here goes...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Wanderlost, Mar 21, 2023.

  1. Wanderlost

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    I don't have the greatest coming out story. It's nearly a non-coming out story. First off, my name is Nomi. I'm nearly 20, and I officially let it be known that I was into girls romantically when I was 16. But to background that we need to travel back in time. *eerie music plays*

    I was born and raised in a very LGBTQ+ affirming country and city. Or at least it was by the time I was old enough to give it any thought. My parents used to take us kids camping a lot, and by the time I was a teen we had a pretty good group of families that we would all go on these big family trips together and sleep in tents and trailers. My first "lesbian" experience was when I was 13 with one of these family friends who was my age. Lets call her "Mary" for this story. Mary went to my school but we weren't 'school friends." She traveled in her own circles and I did mine. But on these trips that we'd take about 3 times a year we were friends by default I think, if only for that trip. We started off innocently enough, just talking about crushes and feelings and at some point things got more experimental with her. I won't go into detail other than to say we made out a few times and she was literally my first kiss with anyone. This routine lasted around 3 years until her family moved too far away for them to continue doing the camping trips. We were never close at school or publicly, but it did break my heart once I had enough time to process my feelings for her. After she was gone I began to tell friends I was Bi, but I never told anyone why, or about Mary and I. Because of the accepting nature of my area, my friends didn't really care and I received no backlash.

    The hardest portion of coming out was to my mom, who I knew would be accepting of queers but I knew she had strong opinions about me having children and living an untroubled, "predictable" life. I decided to take her out to dinner to tell her so she would not cause a scene, but that sorta happened anyway. She was the first I told in the family, and she didn't take it well. Not because she was homophobic, but because she had very high hopes for how I was going to live my life. I think she saw it as a death of some dream of hers. Next was my dad, literally the same night. I told him I was into girls when I got home that evening and he already knew, or suspected. His main concern was making sure I was okay, and that we could "fix mom" lol. I love my dad. So before I turned 17 I was out to all my closer friends, and my parents. I do have two siblings that I eventually came out to as well but not in the usual "announcement way." Later in the year I finally got my first girlfriend, and that became a very public relationship so the rest of the school and even my siblings found out by word of mouth really. I did bring my gf home to meet everyone in the family so I wasn't a complete dick to my siblings. But really I already knew they would be fine with it, and it wasn't like us to announce when we had romantic interests. So I guess that's about it. Nothing earth shattering really.

    Today I am Pansexual because I feel that I can be physically and emotionally attracted to anyone. For me chemistry is the key to my heart, not what you look like or even behave like. I suppose I do have preferences but I've discovered that those are secondary. I'm still trying to figure some of this stuff out. I could change my label again I guess, but labels are not something I give a ton of thought too. I hope that I live long enough to see the day where the term "coming out" is something that we only know about from watching classic movies, and labels are that thing kids learn about in history class as something that was necessary back when humans were confused.
     
  2. quebec

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    Wanderlost.....Thanks for sharing that with us. It helps those here on EC who aren't out to hear about coming out stories that are not disasters. For some coming out is really difficult and for others not so much. I have a friend who says that he never came out, that he was always who he was and everybody knew it. I wish it was like that for everybody...like you said...something that ends up being in the past. For now though, your story will encourage some here, so thanks! :old_smile:
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  3. Wanderlost

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    Hey thank you for the kind words David. I really appreciate it. I guess I never really saw it the way you and others do. I know that many in our community are very anxious about coming out because of comp het and other factors like religious upbringing. The very good news is the world is changing fast in our favor, and we are very much not alone.
     
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  4. xfemmelesbian

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    Your journey is so interesting and it’s so nice to hear that everything turned out great and that everyone in your life was supportive! I hope things are okay with your mum now? I know you said she isn’t homophobic and it was more about other stuff. Was she just shocked?
     
    #4 xfemmelesbian, Mar 24, 2023
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2023
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  5. 74andHome

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    Nomi what an amazing story! Your courage is amazing. I’m so happy for you and wish you well. I wish I’d had the courage you have when I was your age. I just know as you move forward you will have the support from your family. I also love your comment about ‘coming out’. Thanks.
     
  6. Wanderlost

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    I'm sorry for not replying to this along time ago. I think your question just slipped past me. Yes, I think it's partly the surprise, but to be honest, I can understand how they would want my path in life to be trouble free, and me being queer is not a trouble free path.

    Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. :slight_smile:
     
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  7. Ntina21

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    Very sweet post and story :slight_smile: Thanks for sharing
     
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  8. Milquetoast

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    Your thoughts are very well expressed. You are intuitive and insightful. Great writing...John
     
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