Later in life

I've known I liked both boys and girls since middle school came out at 29

 

I have had gay men hit on me since my late teens. . I discovered my attraction to them in my mid 50's.

 

Guys never hit on me that I was aware of and was taught gay guys liked other sissy guys bc they couldn't get women. I didn't want to be a sissy guy so I just wouldn't be and some women liked me so I'd meet a nice gal someday haha. See how bad information screws up people? That's what the lies about us does to some people who don't get the info they needed. No one wanted me to have the right info so I was oblivious for too long. Then it was too late and I gave up.

 

Always knew but, I was raised by country folks in a very religious house so being other than cis and straight wasn't an option. I come from a small town where Chevrolet, apple pie, God and corn futures are life.

Joined the army and left and found out there was other life out there. So I finally came out at 38 and have been happier than I have ever been.

 

I suspected mid way through high school but being gay in high school in the late 80's and 90's was a one way ticket to a world of hurt. I thought I might even grow out of it, teenage hormones all over the place but by the time I was 24, suspicions turned into fact. However, realization and acceptance aren't the same and I suppressed my homosexuality. I felt I had no other choice and if I suppressed it long enough, it would fade. It would take me another 20 years before I would finally accept who I was. It never faded. It just became stronger over time to the point I couldn't ignore it anymore. The turning point was this overwhelming desire to kiss one of my male friends. It opened the flood gates but even then, I told myself I was bisexual when deep down I knew I was homosexual. It took a few more years to sort that one out and when I did, it was like a found the piece of me that was missing.

 

For me it was a change in my attraction. Can’t pinpoint any moments growing up that indicated my attraction to men.

 

I think I always knew I was attracted to men, at least on a subconscious level. I think the first time the thought that I might be gay occurred to me when I was around 20, but I quickly dismissed it as curiosity. However, the fantasies kept returning periodically, and over the next 20-25 years, I tried to fight it without consciously realizing I was even doing so. My ability to suppress it weakened as time went on. It's only been in the last few years that I've accepted that I'm genuinely attracted to men, and I've only recently accepted that I'm gay.

 

I knew that I liked men in my early teens but I then tried to repress this. Over time I became less and less successful in doing so that by the time I was 30 I had to acknowledge that I was gay. But it then took another 10 years or so until I fully accepted it.

 

I'd say it was the latter in my case, though I didn't really "know" it so much as suspect it. I went through a great deal of confusion, shame, and fear anytime I entertained the idea of being same sex attracted, to the point of shutting down mentally before I could arrive at the conclusion that I was. But there were signs, even as early as 6 years of age. Of course, it was different at that age than during my teens, since sexual development doesn't really kick in until puberty, but I can say with certainty that the crushes I had on girls were more or less on par with my crushes on boys in those earlier years.

 

Was thinking about this this morning... Being bi, do you find your attraction is 50/50 or unequal? I found that some times I am more attracted to one gender.. and sometimes to other gender.. and then to no gender specific. What is your experience?

 

Im Bi too but lean more towards men if that makes sense

 

It does, my opinion is that everybody is on that scale.. even someone that is straight will also dip into the scale.. even if its only a little bit. it would be interesting to see a poll result with what do you lean more towards, your own or opposite gender, from a bi perspective.

 

I had an interest in guys (actually their genitals) since the time I hit puberty, but I chalked it up to teen curiosity. Although... I would find myself checking guys out in the locker rooms, or thinking about guys I knew, and then later fantasizing about masturbating together and having oral sex. With the raging hormones, I also became keenly interested in girls, and through the years had great fun and sex with them. Deep down, however, I always had an interest in guys, which became even stronger when I purchased my first gay magazine (this is pre-internet). Suffice it to say, I was really turned on by it, and that began a period of cycling between relationships with women, and, in between, exploring my secret desire for men - although never acting on it other than through masturbation and fantasy. Then the internet rolled around, and I was able to explore my desires to a greater extent (e.g. chat rooms; cybersex) which ultimately led to more fully embracing my homosexuality and acting on it for real. Now, I have no sexual interest in women and fully accept that I'm gay. It's been a journey.

 

Felt the same, checking out boys and girls. Through it was a phase.. till in my late teens when I knew it was not.

 

I find it kind of ebbs and flows, like waves on the shore. Sometimes I'm more drawn to women, other times I'm more drawn to men. I'd say it's more or less equal, except for when I first came out: my attraction to women had been so repressed that I experienced something of a backlog, wherein I barely noticed men for a time (besides my husband). Things are a lot calmer on both sides of my attraction nowadays, which is nice.

 

I have always been attracted to males, I have fought that attraction all my life. I remember in my teens being with my girl friend and the only way I could get aroused if I thought of men and in particular my best male friend.

 

"Ebbs and flows" is a good description. Currently bit more attraction to guys lately. Thinking situation with my partner is also fueling that dynamic. Resolving that would probably also make a change on where I see my self on the scale.

 

Teens, I was totally mixed.. Fantasizing about boys, going after the girls, going after boys, fantasizing about girls.. I knew something was up ..